Dumb As A Post, But Cute
When you enter the alternative universe of Politico, it’s always a good idea to steel yourself against infantile false equivalencies, stunningly obvious conventional wisdom, and drearily repeated Republican talking points. That way, you’ll suffer through far fewer poorly written articles that, like watching Fox News, will make you dumber than if you’d spent your time lighting farts.
Naturally, I go to Politico a lot, because, every once in a while I’ll happen upon something so transcendently idiotic that it makes the whole trip worthwhile. Just now, the top story announces, without a race of irony, that Sarah Palin is Newt Gingrich’s “secret weapon.” Given that Newt is plummeting in the Florida polls and all the Republican moneymen are openly after his scalp, one wonders what, exactly, Palin is going to do about his flagging political fortunes. Shoot a moose? Better yet, the “writer” quotes ol’ Caribou Barbie at some length, effectively refuting the whole premise of her story by reminding readers that the woman is, well, dumb as a post:
In her latest appearance, Palin stated: “Look at Newt Gingrich, what’s going on with him via the establishment’s attacks,” she said, though the original question was about Ron Paul. “They’re trying to crucify this man and rewrite history and rewrite what it is that he has stood for all these years.”
Palin then called conservative writer Peggy Noonan “hypocritical” for recently calling Gingrich an “angry little attack muffin.”
“They maybe subscribe such characterization of Newt via words like that, but they don’t subscribe those to say Mitt Romney when he or his surrogates do the same thing,” she said. “That’s that typical hypocrisy stuff in the media that I’ve lived with over a couple of decades in the political arena. So I’m used to it.”
“But in order to help educate the rest of the American public, I’ll articulate that it is hypocritical of the media to subscribe to one candidate and not another, that kind of angry attack muffin verbiage to one and not the other.”
News Flash: Palin has picked up some new words, and has chosen to start using them, repeatedly, without grasping their, uh, meaning. “Subscribe.” “Via.” “Articulate.” “Verbiage.” As Paul Krugman said about Gingrich, “He’s a stupid person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like.” Palin, on the other hand, is what four-year old sounds like when they’ve learned a new word. Some secret weapon: idiotic word salad blurted out by an addlepated harridan way past her political, if not Fox, sell date.
Romney must be quaking in his Gucci loafers.










