Crazy Like a FOX

By now, we’ve all had a chuckle over the fact that the rotting corpse of CNN got the Supreme Court ruling on Obamacare, well, spectacularly wrong, and failed to correct the error for several minutes while the whole world watched.  What isn’t so funny, and falls more into the depressing category, is that such an enormous FAIL immediately dropped off the radar screen except on lefty blogs and The Daily Show.  Picture the rest of the MSM as a Catholic bishop, and CNN as just another horny priest who couldn’t keep his cassock closed around the altar boys.

Admittedly, CNN’s currently abysmal and still-falling ratings would indicate that only a precious few (and likely senile)  Americans actually witnessed the swan-dive faceplants of John King and Wolf Blitzer as they soberly announced the exact opposite of what actually, uh, happened, and were eagerly followed by FOX in so doing.  But what the hell?  Back in the day, the similarly pathetic and partisan Chicago Tribune hasn’t lived down “Dewey Defeats Truman” in over a half a century; today, what little opprobrium the ostentatiously centrist CNN suffered was all but relegated to late night television.

This is what happens when a purportedly legitimate news outlet tries to be FOX: it finds, to its untold chagrin, that being a nodding Republican mouthpiece occasionally has its pitfalls.  Once you’ve hired certifiably insane wingnut welfare dependents like Erick Erickson and Dana Loesch, along with bankster-blowing (literally!) bimbettes like Erin Burnett, in a vain attempt to spice up a snooze-inducing lineup of shopworn Village martinets like King and Blitzer, nobody on TV even bats a false eyelash when you get the most important story of the YEAR utterly ass-backwards.

What never occurred to CNN’s 1% overlords is that the FOX audience wants to be lied to, and that market is cornered; what little credibility they have left is that at least with the breaking news that is their supposed strong suit, they will broadcast something that isn’t entirely at odds with observable reality.  Oops.  As The New York Times so amply demonstrated with Judy Miller’s phony WMD stories,  blindly putting out right-wing fever dreams as though they were plausible out of some fear of being thought “liberal,” may allow you to wrap your chops around the bestest Beltway cocktail weenies, but it does misinform your audiences quite egregiously, and a lie-weary public responds by abandoning you in droves.

This is the sort of thing advertisers notice, which might explain why the American Petroleum Institute is all over MSNBC and lefty talk radio, while the “centrist”  stenographers like CNN and even my own local rag, the Oregonian, only get big placements these days from purveyors of quack medicines and overpriced gold coins.  Turns out dumb people, however assiduously courted,  just aren’t all that valuable.

When CNN is gone, which will be probably be sooner rather than later, FOX will have truly triumphed, and better yet, some really lame people who helped ruin a journalistic enterprise will be left once again holding out their bottomless tin cups to Murdoch, the Koch Brothers, and their ilk, which is undeniably a good thing.  If hookers were free, after all, they wouldn’t be hookers, they’d just be unusually enamored first dates.  The bad thing is that the actual journalists lost in the shuffle will vanish unnoticed into the good night, and the bosses who so thoroughly discredited them will drift quietly into the Hamptons, held benignly aloft on their golden parachutes.





  1. michlib says:

    When you’ve been scooped by Faux Nuze on an Obama victory – it’s time to find other work !

  2. daphne says:

    What also hasn’t occurred to the CNN bigshots is that their ratings plunge isn’t because they haven’t been imitating FOX hard enough but because they haven’t stopped trying.

  3. dirigo646 says:

    It’s difficult to believe, given the stakes, that these nitwits couldn’t get one of their people who can actually read stuff like legal briefs in place at the mahogany table to take at least ten minutes to find out whether the last graphs in the opinion affirm or deny.

    Even then, if I were a news director, I would not rely on a Luke Russert to bring this one home. Hire a lawyer for a couple of hours to watch Luke’s back, to help the boy “get it first but get it right.”

    It’s not that hard.

    • cocktailhag says:

      They really just don’t give a shit, methinks. Cut to commercial.

      • dirigo646 says:

        May be, but for a measly thousand you could cover your ass on the biggest supremo ruling in who knows when.

        NBC got it right with Pete Williams, a longtime villager who hangs out at the court, and duly celebrated by the adenoidal Brian “on set.” But even with Pete (not a lawyer), passing the brief under the nose of an on-site temp legal hire might have been wise.

        After all, was it not a “special report”?

        Breaking news is a busted flush now, in full flow, not just leaking.

        • dirigo646 says:

          To be completely ridiculous (just go with it), imagine, back in the days of the moon landing, that the networks could have pre-positioned a crew to catch Neil Armstrong setting foot on that blasted heath; except they were too cheap to hire their own navigator. And so the journalists landed on Mars instead, and reported on an asteroid as big as a garden shed hitting the red planet, saying they were sure there were men inside. Our men of course.

  4. avelna says:

    I had heard that Obama was one of those taken in by the CNN misreporting (I’m assuming it was CNN since I doubt he was watching FOX at the time) and was only given the good news a few minutes later by one of his aides who had been following the SCOTUS blog and approached him with 2 thumbs up. A little ironic, but kind of amusing, for Obama to have been taken in.

  5. loretta says:

    I think CNN has tried to turn itself into a TV-Blog to attract the younger demographic. I seriously doubt it is working. Think about all the sparkly technology, the bloggers-cum-analysts, the twitter feed. They’ve dumbed down to “The Electric Company” of news. Or maybe “ZZoom.”

    Wait, that came out of Boston Public Television, so nebber mind.

    Anyway, nobody CNN wants to watch is watching.

    • cocktailhag says:

      The “talent” they’ve brought in lately are just the cherries on top of the shit sundae they’ve been serving for a dozen years. Not that the other networks are much better; all have suffered as their absurd notions of “objectivity” lead them to give lies and truth equal billing.

  6. loretta says:

    And, since I’m late to the party (and all parties these days) because I am working so much and have no time to enjoy blogs like before, I would like to make a comment about a previous entry that will likely be relegated to the department of Obviousness, but here’s the thing about supporting the elites: you don’t have to. Here’s a really easy solution – don’t support it.

    For example, the best way to end the war on drugs is to not use drugs. Meantime, if you really want to get high, grow your own. If everyone who used street drugs stopped, there ya go. I haven’t supported the war on drugs or the drug cartels since 1993. And even then, I was a drop in the ocean.

    I do not have a mortgage. I will not bank with Chase or any of the recipients of the bail out. Oh, yeah, they don’t miss a little pauper like me, but if EVERYBODY pulled their money out and refused to borrow any from them, hello.

    I will not send any money to the political PACs or campaigns this year. If everyone refused to send ANY candidate a dime, guess what? The election would go on! The media would be forced to give them free coverage! What a concept! We’d still see their ugly mugs for month.

    I will not let my daughter go in hock to go to college. My eldest two are still paying off their student loans ten years later. I told daughter #3 I’m not doing it. I’m not going into hock up to my eyeballs and I’m not letting her.

    There are lots of other examples, but you get the gist. Anyway, the point it we do have a choice.

    • cocktailhag says:

      I’ve stopped political giving this cycle; mostly because disposable income is way down. (Would somebody PLEASE tell the President?)
      My nephew starts college in the fall, and my brother is sending him to community college; if he does well, they might talk about a state school down the road. But no debt. Both of us left U of O in debt, and learned our lesson.
      Thanks for reminding me to get off my ass and get my medical marijuana card.