Fall Fellows?

I just got an email from a flunky named Sara who seems unaccountably excited about working for President Obama’s reelection.  Better yet, she had an attractive little offer:

I’m the national training director at Obama for America. My job is to develop the programs and resources our staff and volunteers use to teach others how to grow this campaign in their communities.

That sounds like nice work, if you can get it.

I’m writing because you or someone you know might want to be among a group of people who will play the leading role in our grassroots strategy this fall. They’re called our fall fellows.

Hmmm.  If you changed it to “senior” Fall Fellow it might get me a chance to blabber on TV…..   Meanwhile, it sounds like nobody gets paid.  Why am I not surprised by this?

By now you’ve probably heard of our summer organizers program, through which more than 1,500 full-time volunteer organizers have stepped up as the next generation of leaders in this movement. These folks have been the focus and the heart of our movement all summer, and though each and every one of them will remain a part of this organization, their time as Summer Organizers ends next month.

Fifteen hundred?  In a nation of 300 million?  In Obama’s math, such as we’ve seen, that would equal about .000000021 of one hedge fund manager in terms of political influence.  Note the unintentionally hilarious use of the term “movement” to describe supporting the continuation of a Presidency that has abandoned virtually all of the ideals on which it based its campaign, and repeatedly concedes to its political enemies with defiant exuberance.  Whatever “movement” might have animated his campaign has been so repeatedly kicked to the curb that it only exists now as a movement against it, but in the land of those hardy 1500 Obamabots, a “movement” can be conjured out of thin air supporting, say, Predator Drones, Wall Street lawlessness,  deep cuts to the social safety net, and continuing historically unusual and destructively low tax rates on the wealthy, and, to top it off, more wars than you can count on one hand.   That “movement” has enough supporters already, a fact which need hardly be belabored here.

The job of fall fellows is to pick their work up and carry it forward into the months to come.

The Summer Fellows having all moved back into their parents’ basements.

Our fall fellows are going to engage new volunteers on front porches and over the phones. They’ll register new voters and develop relationships with other organizers and supporters on campuses and in communities. The people selected will be on the front lines of the most important work we do as a campaign: bringing people together at the local level.

Really?  Well, oughtn’t your boss have thought ahead and done a better job, so people on the “local level” would, well, not have already decided that he’s the lamest President since Warren G. Harding?  Who, pray tell, would want to talk to even one voter, especially a Democratic one, about how fabulous Obama’s supposedly been? Presumably, applicants will  be trained to handle a lot of slammed doors and hangups.

Apply to be a fall fellow right now — or pass this message along to someone else you think would be great:


Organizing is tough work. I started out as an organizing intern in Iowa in 2007, and I can tell you firsthand that the hours can be long, often extending late into the evening and over the weekend. But this will be one of the most rewarding and inspiring things you’ll ever do. It’s through organizing that I’ve met some of my closest friends and learned the skills I use in my job every day.

Ahhh, they’ve finally gotten to the real hook.  Basically, she’s saying that if it weren’t for becoming an unpaid Obamabot way back when, she would be unemployed too, just like the rest of y’all.  The way out of Obama’s Hoovervilles for the young, educated, and unemployed is to, guess what, support their continuation for others!  You see, once you’ve nailed a job in the political-media-industrial complex, massive unemployment is only for the little people.  Where do I sign up?

So even if you’re not in a position to join us part- or full-time in the months to come, I really hope you’ll forward this message to someone you know who might be.

Give me some time.  I might think of somebody.

This kind of organizing isn’t just how we plan to win this election. I’ll say.  That job has been turned over to Wall Street et al.  It’s a reflection of the kind of politics that we believe in — the kind the President himself practiced as a young organizer working with communities devastated by factory closings in Chicago.

And also the kind that he stopped practicing in about 2007, as most people have now noticed.

No experience is required — you might be a veteran organizer or a first-time volunteer. And if you happen to be a college student, you can work with your school to earn credit through this program.

Wow.  Who knew working for free was so much easier to get into, especially now, than a real paying job?  Heck, with more than twenty million unemployed, you’d think….  Oh yeah, they got the fifteen hundred last time.  Coincidence?

Bottom line: No matter how old you are or where you come from, it’s not too often you get a chance to do something like this.

Every four years, last time I checked; it’s not like it’s Halley’s Comet or something.  Hard times like this, though; only the geezers remember.

Apply now to be one of our fall fellows — or share this message with someone you think might be interested:


Thanks, and good luck,


I’m sure Sara is a lovely person, and means well.  But the only campaign slogan that will possibly reelect Obama, and the one they’re clearly relying on, is, “Don’t let (insert crazy Republican nominee here) make things worse than they already are.”  Given the likelihood of a genuine crazy person as his 2012 opponent, this craven and amoral strategy just might work.  But please, don’t call that a “movement.” Sheesh.


  1. nswfm says:

    Love you, Cocktail Hag. Luckily, I didn’t get one of those, or I would have written something like that back.

    • cocktailhag says:

      Or not. The motivation seems understandably lacking. (As you’ve surely seen with my light posting lately…)

      • nswfm says:

        This past week, I unsubscribed to one of the Dem Congressional Committee blast-o-email services and when they asked for my reason, optional, I let them have it. Did a similar thing with my grad school. Have been too pissed off at my under grad university for hiring Yoo to even spend any time on any pleas for money or attention. I plan on outliving all these mofos and reading their obits with great satisfaction.

  2. mikeinportc says:

    “I can tell you firsthand that the hours can be long, often extending late into the evening and over the weekend….”

    Sounds like my spring,summer, & early fall, for the last 20 years. Lately though, I’m getting less and less return on that “investment”, with the promise of even less. Maybe I should have done something less productive,and more financially rewarding, like say,….politics? ;)

  3. mikeinportc says:

    ps ~ two years ago, I came up with a one-size-fits-all answer, for when I’m approached by the Sara of the moment : “So……which faction of thieves and war criminals are you representing?” [or "shilling for?"] Lol! ( me, not “Sara”)

    • cocktailhag says:

      Yeah, you could have signed up with Anderson Cooper’s personal trainer and by now America would be in love with you. Me too, maybe, but it wouldn’t be for your personality. I’m shallow that way.
      Poor Sara is going to have a really rough time of it.

  4. avelna says:

    Hmm, Sara sounds like a younger and “better” educated (or more literate at any rate) bernbart.

  5. mikeinportc says:

    Maybe Sara is bernbart . :) )))))

  6. Henry says:

    I did NOT get one of these e-mail? Perhaps,.,.,they are still translating it into Spanish for me? Que?? ¿Es que yo no cuento?

    • cocktailhag says:

      No, I’d say you’re lucky. For whatever reason, I get this sort of crap several times a week. (I keep it around because sometimes it’s worth a blog….) I never donated money to Obama, other than to buy signs; he had plenty of money, I thought. But maybe they remembered that….
      Needless to say, I threw that sign away a long time ago.

      • Henry says:

        Hag, I took a recent survey (for a class I was taking) asking how often I donate on line for various causes. 99% of all respondents in my class said they “never” donate online for “any” causes. I found this very interesting!

        • The Heel says:

          Hey Henry,
          good to hear from you. When the Feds shut down, maybe we should pour down some coldies to stimulate the local economy (e.g. the liquor store down the street). I think it is out duty as citizens…. When the going gets tough, the tough start drinking, or so they say…. :)

          • Henry says:

            Marcus, sounds good to me but as I recall, the last time, (or was it the prior time) I went to your house to “visit you” we not only drank all your beer, but an entire bottle of tequila as well! I recall that your lovely wife would not allow me to drive myself home so she had to drive me home… What is funny about this story is that I told Claudia, “I am going to Marcus house, be back in about one hour, so we can start your movie then”. 4 hours later, I get dropped off… My point is, we need to kidnap the Hag and see how much he can drink?