Nyeah, Nyeah, Nyeah

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood


Well, I fully expected this to be a rather depressing day, what with the President’s concession speech ahead, but boy, oh, boy, did it turn out differently.  First, Measures 66 and 67 passed by a veritable landslide, at last count 54-46, and a lot of obnoxious rich people will have to make good on their threats to leave.  Yay!  I know Phil Knight will just love living in Washougal, Washington, since I once wanted to live there myself, when I was a kid and noticed that they get a whole lot of snow days.  FreedomWorks, Dick Armey, and the whole clown car of national anti-tax people converged on little old Oregon to clobber the modest tax increases on corporations and the rich, and still came up snake eyes.  In addition to writing what was quite possibly the most illiterate and unpersuasive op/ed the Oregonian has ever run, (and that’s saying something…) Nike gazillionaire Phil Knight pissed away over $300,000 of his own ill-gotten gains, or roughly 5000% of what the taxes would have cost him from now until death, and lost.  I find myself questioning my atheism, all of a sudden.

The best part of this is that Multnomah County, the most reliably liberal county in Oregon that includes central Portland, had very poor turnout, and the soundness of the teabagger defeat was therefore secured by the ambivalence of the conservative areas of the state, where the measure failed to gain the usual almost unanimous opposition.  The swing counties were overwhelmingly in favor of the measures, despite the Oregonian’s jihad against them, and their opponents were forced to whine about being outspent by “the unions,” for a change.  This time, nobody believed the righty trope that rich people and corporations are the fountain of prosperity, perhaps because they aren’t, and better yet either didn’t care or didn’t believe that they would really up and leave.   If I were FreedomWorks, I’d be as nervous as a whore in church.  This kind of thing could catch on, and if it did, where would the rich go?  Somalia?  Let ‘em.  Send me a postcard.

Then, the “teabuggers,” about whom I wrote yesterday, started dragging down Andrew Breitbart, FOX News, and every other righty who kissed their pimply asses in Macy’s window for months, not by anything they said or did, but merely by exposing the cravenness and stupidity of their media enablers for the whole world to see.  On the supposedly “safe” venue of Hugh Hewitt’s righty talk show, Breitbart accidentally let slip that head-teabugger O’Keefe was on his payroll; the opposition from David “diapers” Vitter to Sen. Mary Landrieu’s pick for a new Louisiana US Attorney started to collapse in a wave of revelations about a typical Republican coverup; and ACORN is now probably O’Keefe’s only hope to be able to vote again when he gets out of jail, since they have worked so hard in the past for the re-enfranchisement of ex-felons.

Anyway, these rather delightful and interesting developments ought to take the edge off whatever infuriating nonsense comes out of our Commander in Chief this evening, at least for me, even though I have little doubt that he will fail to mention either of them, since they both point to the criminality and unpopularity of the opponents to whom he plans to capitulate.  Thus the drinking game is still on.

But here in Oregon, and down in Louisiana, it’s looking like Obama is the only one who believes that the teabaggers run the country.

UPDATE: Phil Knight, in an interview with fellow anti 66 and 67 activist rag the Oregonian, backtracked on his threats to move to Wyoming, or somesuch. He said “Nike is too big”  (not like his firecrotch penis) to leave the state, and even he himself wasn’t planning to move to Washougal, much to the delight of Clark County residents, no doubt.  Not wanting to admit what a lying sack of sh*t he was so soon after the election, he merely said he was “keeping my options open.”  Please, Phil, keep them open.  You could use a few more snow days.


  1. nailheadtom says:

    If 3 1/2% of the voters in Oregon had voted the other way, the measures wouldn’t have passed. That’s anybody’s definition of a landslide.

  2. bystander says:

    For your drinking game SOTU pleasure, Atrios recommends: Drink when he says “Some on the left…”.

    He also has a thread for: Contribute your POTUS SOTU drinking game suggestions, but I didn’t see any good suggestions in the first part of the thread.

    YAY!! for Oregon voters. Way to go y’all. Just sweet.

    • cocktailhag says:

      I liked it, as you can obviously discern. Get a real job, Dick Armey!!!!! Anyway, I’m going out to dinner. Watching that crap is the wrong choice for me, when I can hang out with liberal, class warfare elitists, pretty much anywhere I go.

  3. sysprog says:

    Y’all are gonna be sorry.

    We raised taxes here in N.J. and the creative productive people all disappeared.


    Where’d they go?

    We thought it was The Rapture but now we hear they’re in some kind of a gulch in Wyoming, where they’re sheltered from tax storms.

    Now all the stores and offices and factories are closed and there’s nobody to tax and nothing for us layabout to do (not that we ever did anything anyway) and nothing to eat unless Anderson Cooper does a telethon for us.

    • cocktailhag says:

      That gulch is going to get awfully crowded; and not much fun, either, when Phil Knight moves in.

    • meremark says:

      -sysprog (btw, nice promo of you from Glenn today, good on ya’)

      Watch your illogic of “after it, therefore because of it.” (post hoc, ergo propter hoc.)

      Your “creative productive people” were leaving anyway, (the desolation of fascist catastrophe, like Einstein got outta Germany), whether or not you N.J. passed tax hikes. Don’t blame yourselves. Hike taxes again on any rich ones still hanging around, Princeton, Atlantic City, wherever and particularly especially Johns Hopkins Univ. (fascist spawn, look it up).

      After the rich ones (‘creative’ ‘productive’ whatEVer) are all rounded up in Laramie — landlords all absent — then you get your land back, free, squat on it, start truck farms again, seek shellfish at the seashore, etc.

  4. I have to force myself to remember that the picturesque snow-covered peak in the distance is a volcano. As in Portland, so also in Seattle, and in Tokyo. Mmm…. Is there a moral in there somewhere?

    Ask Harry Truman. No, not that Harry Truman. That Harry Truman knew what to do with volcanos. Come to think of it, Barack Obama might want to ponder both Harrys for a moment or two, now that he’s given us the latest version of his why-things-must-always-be-just-as-they-are-now-you-silly-hippies speech.

    • cocktailhag says:

      It was a stinker, all right, but not as bad as I expected. Just boring and content-free.
      (at least that volcano has the decency not to erupt all the time….. St. Helens is now just a boring lump, having lost its top and covered us all in ash)

    • cocktailhag says:

      That was a very cute article, but a bit more flattering than I would have done? I consider it something of a compliment that you thought it CH-like. My favorite line was “…couldn’t get laid in a whorehouse if they drove up in a Brinks truck.” After a decent interval, I may even steal it; as you know I’m quite fond of hooker metaphors. Thanks for the chuckle, Tom.