Book Saloon: The Lies of Sarah Palin

I’ve been traveling a lot lately, and thus reading more (political, natch) books than usual, but none seemed new and juicy enough to review.  Fortunately, Karma chose to compensate me for the money I’d thus far wasted at Powell’s; I showed up at a Firebagger Meetup in Portland, and they had FREE BOOKS.  I grabbed a review copy of Geoffrey Dunn’s The Lies of Sarah Palin, and have been raucously entertained ever since.

What makes Dunn’s effort, which involved extensive interviews with Palin’s friends, enemies, and disturbingly numerous disgruntled former followers so striking is that, unlike the Lamestream Media, he actually did some homework, and spoke to people who knew something about this kooky, vindictive, and ignorant woman.  Palin has left a trail of duplicity, betrayal, and ill-feelings in her wake since middle school, and always for the same reason; her pathological obsession that everything, and I mean everything, be all about her, all the time.

How could I possibly be surprised to learn that at age 13 Sarah Barracuda launched a four-year Mean Girls jihad on some newcoming girl whose crime was to be asked “out” by a boy who, unbeknownst to him, had already been chosen as Sarah’s future husband.  (Evident throughout the book, as it travels with Sarah, is that this Mormon-like obsession with breeding early and often is a new, and more than usually creepy element of right wing politics…. especially in corrupt, isolated shitholes like Wasilla, Alaska.  Teen motherhood is the new black in places that don’t believe in either evolution nor global warming, but do believe in abstinence, at least for others.)

Such magical thinking is again glaringly apparent when Sarah was running for Mayor of Wasilla, and said to a former (and typically regret-laden) supporter, “If I’m still here in this job in two years, then I’m quitting.  I mean, I better be moved on to something and better than that by then.”  The job she had in mind?  Not Governor, as the aide helpfully suggested might be a possibility someday.  President.  Seriously.  Of course, the sad part is that she got pretty frighteningly close,  thanks to nobody going up to Alaska to ask around.  The stories are multitudinous, and after the fiftieth one or so they fail to astonish; but the craziness has been there in plain sight for anyone willing to take a look.

One delicious part of the book is when Sarah Palin hooked up with a lot of understandably lonely and unattractive Republicans who had ventured up north for a Weekly Standard cruise (!), and the result was, unsurprisingly, a roomful of boners.  Fox’s Fred Barnes, who found her “exceptionally pretty,” and “unusually confident,” (yes, for one so dumb, but I digress…), said she had eye-popping integrity, which perhaps is Neocon-ese for a nice rack. Bill Kristol, a man not known for his prescience, much less sex appeal, gushed “I don’t know if I can make it through the next three months without her on the ticket.”  Make it he did, undoubtedly with the frequent help of Rosy Palm, and she did end up on the ticket.

Maybe Sarah thought the National Review would bring in a more attractive crop of wingnut-welfare suitors on its cruise, and more attention, but by this time she seems to be meeting more boats than a hooker at Fleet Week, and boy did the chickenhawk sailors love her every time….   When you’re being mooned over by Robert Bork, Victor Davis Hanson, and Dick Morris, Hell… even Rich Lowry might start to look good.  But they would all write glowingly about how she walked around in high heels, was a “real honey” with “movie star qualities.” None of these snobby and pretentious members or the righty  ”intelligentsia” noticed that she is a) bonkers, or b) an idiot.  In the cynical branding Republicans practice in lieu of actually selling a governing philosophy, Palin was perfect.  For their audience, she didn’t have to be an intellectual; all she needed was a nice set of ideas.  The crazier the better, as it turned out.

The Lies of Sarah Palin was published just after the Gabrielle Giffords shooting and Palin’s disastrous and thoroughly discrediting”Blood Libel” rantings on Facebook afterward, but Dunn was unwilling to yet dismiss Palin as a political force, not for good of course, but reading it, I think I am.  While some sociopaths are able to achieve big if unworthy things, this gal is too dumb, lazy, and emotionally immature to do anything at all.  Her only real “accomplishment” from her half term governorship was finally extracting revenge on her former brother-in-law, a pursuit that took nearly all of her time for at least a year, and got her reprimanded by a bipartisan investigation.  Her famous gas pipeline will probably never happen, and her approval ratings touted (falsely) by the lovestruck cruisers as “near 90%,” now only gets above freezing on a good day.  Her highly theatrical and lie-ridden veto campaign against Alaska accepting stimulus funds (well, about seven percent of them; she’d already accepted the rest) was roundly overridden in the legislature just days before her ignominious (and “eye-poppingly” cuckoo) departure from office.  They may still call her “Governor” on Fox, but I’m certain that Alaskans, and most Americans, call her something else.



  1. nancy says:

    Yeah, she’s in the rearview mirror. But (I’ll try not to shout) how on earth did this entire crazyfying Palin “era” survive into 2011, much less begin? Are we nuts? We know the press is fucked beyond all comprehension. But good gawdamighty.

    I keep repeating that she proves that without a doubt, sexism, you know, of the reverse sort, has simply resurfaced in a new more disgusting form. An “attractive” (all subjective, of course) female can be stupid, venal, vicious and stupendously unserious when it comes to governance, and she’s elevated to the national political stage? I suppose the “crazy-batshit glass-ceiling” has now been broken. Hey–there’s the latest chapter in feminist history. Woo-hoo.

  2. dirigo says:

    I read today a piece in the esteemed HuffPo, something about the latest in feminist theory, the notion of “benevolent sexism.” Palin needs a gentle boot offstage. This may be a way to go, but go she must.

    Stand back, everyone! I’ll do it.

  3. The Heel says:

    The Palin is dead – long live the Bachmann!

    With a little benevolent sexism and the necessary grass roots movement, she may just make it. And since politics in America have boiled done to “who is the most likable candidate” – ever since Reagan, why not going in a more modern direction and asking “who is the sexiest candidate” ?

    I promise, nothing will change but we will finally see good looking people on infotainment and print media.

    Heil Bachmann!

    • avelna says:

      Bachmann is somewhat more coherent than Palin and, unlike Palin, is able to rein in her rhetoric occasionally. This, of course, makes her that much more dangerous since her policy prescriptions are batshit insane. I’ll give her this though – she is an unending source of amusement.

      • cocktailhag says:

        Coherent, except for her grasp of reality. Both are candidates of a post-reality age, where nothing, and I mean nothing, they do or say will dim their with their most ardent followers.
        It is scary.

        • avelna says:

          It is scary, particularly since, according to the media anyway, Bachmann might have an actual shot at winning the presidency in 2012. The apocolypse is imminent.

      • mikeinportc says:

        OT, but when , and how, did bat shit ever get connected to insanity? It’s perfectly sane fertilizer. :)

    • cocktailhag says:

      Ah, yes. Send in the clowns.

  4. Ché Pasa says:

    I don’t know why, but Herself, La Quittah, has always reminded me of some ’80′s porn star.

  5. retzilian says:

    The day I heard Palin was the running mate (back in Aug 08) via a phone call from a friend, I laughed out loud. The first time I heard her speak, prior to the convention speech, the hairs of my neck stood on end, and I cannot, to this day, listen to her for more than 2 minutes. I have to read transcripts of her remarks because I cannot bear her voice.

    When she arrived in Ohio for that infamous rally in Strongsville (with the crazy white trash racist idiots), my loathing for Palin was visceral. She reminded me of all the rotten bitches I had met throughout the years who ruined it for the rest of us girls. She was the epitome of the mean, vindictive, lying bitches of every girl’s worst nightmare. I have had a couple of women in my live like Palin, and I cannot even be objective about how much I hate her guts.

    And, despite Republican Boners to the contrary (Rush, et al), it’s not because I’m jealous of her. I’m ten times smarter, have much better skin, don’t need plastic surgery or fake hair to get by, and don’t make dogs howl with the ungodly pitch of my voice. Never mind she couldn’t carry my worn out flip flop across the street when it comes to parenting.

    I just can’t wait for her to go away.

  6. retzilian says:

    Never mind she’s a forking embarrassingly HORRIBLE flute player and I could play circles around her. Ha! If she took lessons for 10 years, I’m Stradivarius.

    My flute teacher would have shot me if I played that badly.

  7. retzilian says:

    This is what a REAL flute player sounds like.