Flower Power?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a9/Gogogo.jpg/250px-Gogogo.jpg

The endless loop-de-loop of crazy has finally reached its apogee; soon Glenn Beck may spawn the next generation of hippies, if only his followers (and sadly, their talk radio interlocutors) weren’t so slow on the uptake.  Although I was painting and couldn’t take adequate notes, a cracker caller mansplained to Ed Schultz on his radio show today why the Second Amendment, crafted in the 18th century to regulate that era’s primitive arms in a frontier country, somehow meant he personally had a right to his own Predator drone fleet and perhaps a nuke or two.  Because of Jesus. (I paraphrase, but am not making any of this up, except the caller’s name, natch):

GOMER FROM SC: The seccint amendment  means ah have the God-given raht to have whatever weapon the gummint might have when it comes to mah door.

ED SCHULTZ: Really?  Okay, let’s say you and I are the Founders here, how would we handle this?

GOMER FROM SC: We’d have t’ agree t’ disagree.

Well, evidently.  This was one of those infuriating moments when Ed, bless his heart, utterly blew it.   Granted, a commercial break was imminent, but occasionally when someone says something this arrestingly stupid, Ed will hold them over, and presumably set his producers to preemptive googling, to chat some more with the cuckoo person, after we hear a bit about the virtues of Biogreenclean and that Madison weather is still horrible but traffic continues to be nonexistent.  (Dang, I miss KPOJ…)

This was a missed opportunity on so many levels.  First, that the new militia movement has leapt upon the disastrous and constitutionally suspect 2008 Supreme Court decision, District of Columbia v. Heller, which first found an individual right to bear arms, to assume that it now entitles ordinary (white, male, and Confederate-minded, that is) Americans the right to have, heck, ICBM’s, in a pinch.  ‘Cause it’s in the Bible.  Second, that it would be unduly flattering to call such thinking delusional.  While it is possible to spend the proceeds, albeit unwisely, of one’s tax refund or settlement check on a really butch gun to ward off the jackbooted (liberal, union, black, UN, gummint, ACORN, Mooslim, or some nefarious combination thereof) thugs, it’s pretty unlikely that even anything the old lady’s granny someday leaves you will be enough to buy your own bunker-buster, for when the Obama drones come a’ calling.

If God is really on your side in this struggle, He evidently has a funny way of showing it, or an especially wicked sense of humor.  If only Ed were a real hippie rather than such a recent convert, or perhaps hadn’t taken one too many rough tackles playing football, he might have seized on a delicious irony:  the very same wingnuts who have cheered every military expenditure and adventure and glorified the mayhem they’ve created over the years have eagerly rendered themselves so laughably overmatched as to make Wile E. Coyote look like Superman.

You see, all those years of war cheerleading, mostly championed by the Right, and the sacrosanct inviolability of our current obscene military spending, has led these, uh, patriots into something of a cul-de-sac, whether it be in a fancy new subdivision or a swampy, chassis-ridden trailer park.  Once you’ve built a military that not only outspends the whole planet, and also fetishized its “shoot first, ask questions later” culture, that military, lo and behold, turns out to be a rather potent arm of that big government you love to hate.  Who’d a thunk, Gomer?

Those hippies you so love punching; that’s who, Gomer.   If mocking these idiots is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

 

 

 

 

24 Comments

  1. The Heel says:

    It is a sacrosanct privilege of the superior American man to bear arms. Now stop hating ‘Murica, will ya?

  2. michlib says:

    Point of clarification – was that Gomer fron SC or Gohmert from TX ? I get ‘em confused, but Gomer is way smarter than Louie – aren’t we all ?

    • cocktailhag says:

      It might have been TJ from West Virginia; I can’t tell them apart.
      I wrote about Gohmert in the last post, so I would have remembered that. It was still unintentionally hilarious. You ought to listen to the mic 92.1 on iheartradio; the places that are in the middle of righty coups have the best lefty talk, I’ve found.

  3. Ché Pasa says:

    Mockery may be the only thing that’s gonna undo the Warrior Mentality that so afflicts ‘Merkins of a Certain Sort.

    If it were only the Gomers, though.

    There was somebody on the CBS “news” last night, an internet entrepreneur he claims, who lives “south of San Francisco” no less, who was the proud owner of 4 AR-15s — eleven firearms altogether — he kept in a safe, but he calls the ARs his “Barbie Doll guns” because he can get so many neat accessories for them, make them look nice.

    I just glanced at the story, but he looked and sounded like Glenn Beck… if he were an “internet entrepreneur.”

    At least he wants to make sure only “the right people” have access to firearms… so there is that.

  4. mikeinportc says:

    “….even when drones are circling the trailer park.”

    :) )) That was my prediction (to myself) awhile ago , as to where the drone wars go, sooner or later. Eventually we’ll be hearing about the destruction (and “inadvertent ” casualties) of ” a suspected meth lab”. (Which, of course, is likely to be in, or, near a trailer park , at least at first.)

  5. avelna says:

    From Maddow’s show the other night:

    It was July 23rd, 2007. And it was one of the debates where the
    moderator does not ask the questions. Instead they have the questions
    submitted by different people all around the country via YouTube.
    At that debate in July 2007, there was the greatest surprise visual
    review from any questioner in any debate thus far, or since.
    (BEGIN VIDEO CLIPS)

    JARED TOWNSEND, MICHIGAN: Good evening, America. My name is Jared
    Townsend from Clio, Michigan.
    To all the candidates, tell me your position on gun control as myself
    and other Americans really want to know if our babies are safe.
    This is my baby, purchased under the 1994 gun ban. Please tell me
    your views. Thank you.
    ANDERSON COOPER, MODERATOR: Senator Biden, are you going to be able
    to keep his baby safe?
    THEN-SEN. JOE BIDEN (D), FORMER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I tell you
    what? If that`s his baby, he needs help.
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/50260088/ns/msnbc-rachel_maddow_show/#.UNSEFG872Cc

    That’s the transcript but the actual video was rather breathtaking.

    I wonder if Biden has been, in the past 4 years, sidelined on this issue or if he has just kept his mouth shut. (Ha,ha)

  6. dirigo says:

    In light of Li’l Wayne publicly peeing his pants over GUNS Friday, I checked the truthy Wikipedia entry on him; and the only reference to his college days (a brief, very brief, stop at Siena, wherever that is), indicates he left the school in a huff after a dorm monitor told him he couldn’t keep a weapon in his locker.

    As with other “peers” of mine, like W. (oh but yes, he “flew” part-time, and only a portion of that) and Deferment Dick, there’s no hint of Li’l Wayne coming anywhere near a military uniform (to say nothing of sunrise drills with wooden rifles) as he “came of age.”

    Our Generation. Our heroes.

    • cocktailhag says:

      Poor LaPierre…. He’s lost the New York Post, which isn’t easy for a rightie to do. Ah, if this could be his chickenhawk undoing.

      • dirigo says:

        Actually, like the kid in Newtown, maybe Wayne’s mommy let him play with a bolt action in the basement before he packed it with his whiffle balls on the way to Siena. This whole thing might have hit a deeper nerve in the guy than we know. But of course he’s very brave and probably doesn’t want to go there. He’ll shoot his way out of it. Maybe back down in the basement.

        BTW, keep an eye on Asa Hutchinson, the former homeland agency official and Arkansas congressman, now a lobbyist. He’s got clients like Xe (formerly Blackwater) and may be looking for some nice domestic security contracts. He did a turn Friday right after La Pierre spoke, pushing (like a chicken in every pot) the demented idea of an armed guard in every school in America.

  7. cocktailhag says:

    I’ve loathed that Hutchinson character since the impeachment era; didn’t he have a brother of some infamy as well? The way these guys fail upward is a wonder to behold.

    • dirigo says:

      Asa’s brother Tim (both, according to Wiki, “raised on the family farm near Gravette,” and like Asa, a proud graduate of Bob Jones University) served one term as senator from Arkansas (1996-02). He ran against David Pryor and was defeated for reelecton by Pryor’s son, Mark, while denying anything untoward about divorcing his wife of nearly 30 years to marry an aide while in office.

      Both of these fellers are lobbyists. Why, ‘sakes alive! – it’s the family bih-ness!

      Sounds like these two put together might add up to about three-quarters of a Silvio. More sex please!

      • dirigo says:

        Just a randomized brain fart: might we expect a joining, an argument for equivalence, of the techniques of torture to the proposal to have an authorized gun nut in every public school in the country? To even have public employees like teachers and administrators armed and stocked with wet towels in a tub?

        Why not a federal grant to install waterboards in schools as well, to let the “bad guys” know right away we really mean business?

        What say you, Li’l Wayne?

        Silly, isn’t it? But then not …

        Oh, and I think it’s a grrrreat idea to fire hot dental assistants all across America. Let’s go to the supreme court on that one. Yep.

        • cocktailhag says:

          Firing women for showing up at work looking pretty seems like a counterproductive idea, long term….
          I think schools should also have those bug boxes, too.

  8. mikeinportc says:

    Yeah, nobody here can quite match Silvio. It’s just not allowed.
    Siena College is in Loudonville,NY, north of Albany. Given it’s location, is it possible that Lil’ Wayne was in trouble for not having enough guns in his locker?

    Btw, I was apparently too optimistic on the drones . The new FAA reauthorization that takes effect soon, paves the way for vastly expanded domestic drone use. Not only by police and the feds, but by private entities. Now the Masters of the Universe can have their own drone fleets , to spy on, and harass the DFHs, and other undesirable. Also, the USAF pretty much has a free pass to ignore the Posse Comitatus Act , and any and all surveillance laws, including that pesky 4th Amendment. Of course if the Sec. of the AF decides it’s not OK, then they won’t do it . We really shouldn’t worry. ;)

    Yeah, nobody here can quite match Silvio. It’s just not allowed.
    Siena College is in Loudonville,NY, north of Albany. Given it’s location, is it possible that Lil’ Wayne was in trouble for not having enough guns in his locker?

    Btw, I was apparently too optimistic on the drones . The new FAA reauthorization that takes effect soon, paves the way for vastly expanded domestic drone use. Not only by police and the feds, but by private entities. Now the Masters of the Universe can have their own drone fleets , to spy on, and harass the DFHs, and other undesirable. Also, the USAF pretty much has a free pass to ignore the Posse Comitatus Act , and any and all surveillance laws, including that pesky 4th Amendment. Of course if the Sec. of the AF decides it’s not OK, then they won’t do it . We really shouldn’t worry. ;) Yeah, nobody here can quite match Silvio. It’s just not allowed.
    Siena College is in Loudonville,NY, north of Albany. Given it’s location, is it possible that Lil’ Wayne was in trouble for not having enough guns in his locker?

    Btw, I was apparently too optimistic on the drones . The new FAA reauthorization that takes effect soon, paves the way for vastly expanded domestic drone use. Not only by police and the feds, but by private entities. Now the Masters of the Universe can have their own drone fleets , to spy on, and harass the DFHs, and other undesirables. Also, the USAF pretty much has a free pass to ignore the Posse Comitatus Act , and any and all surveillance laws, including that pesky 4th Amendment. Of course if the Sec. of the AF decides it’s not OK, then they won’t do it . We really shouldn’t worry. ;) http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/dec/21/coming-drone-attack-america

    • avelna says:

      And yet more, if the rethugs have their way:

      http://www.salon.com/2012/12/23/us_border_security_advocates_eye_remote_lands/

      Their differences explain why ranchers are on opposite sides of the fence over a sweeping proposal to waive environmental reviews on federal lands within 100 miles of Mexico and Canada for the sake of border security. The Border Patrol would have a free hand to build roads, camera towers, helicopter pads and living quarters without any of the outside scrutiny that can modify or even derail plans to extend its footprint.

      :-(

  9. mikeinportc says:

    Huh? That^ wasn’t what I saw . Only had one copy showing . ????