Petty Gossip

In the face of the damning revelations of his inattention/complicity to decades of sexual abuse and corruption, the Pope is sounding more like a clueless, petulant sorority girl these days than like his more sinister old Nazi self, so I guess you could call that an improvement.  Sorority girls are a lot of things, but Infallible is not among them.  You see, to know one’s surprise the Pope himself was actively involved in shoving glaring evidence of lawlessness and perversion under the rug even as he ruthlessly rammed his personal right-wing political views “down the throats” of his flock, just like about every other fascist charlatan on the face of the earth.  I guess if you’re too sleazy to be, say, a Senator from Louisiana, you might as well go into religion; at least you’re working with people who are already immune to facts and remarkably easy to separate from their cash, and you’ll also have quite a lot of representation on the Supreme Court, too, just in case.

But the Pope, after all, is no Ted Haggard or Jim Bakker, not least because of the 2000-year head start his larcenous and fraudulent cult had, so you can understand his Kappa Kappa Gamma level of self-entitlement and overconfidence in the face of a few thousand lurid  and recurring global felonies.  He quite understandably considers himself immune to such minutia as “dominant opinion,” which seems to be that which holds that it’s not only gross but a serious crime to cover up and thus condone sexual abuse of children and adults of both sexes.  What are they going to do, arrest the Holy Father?  One could only hope.  Look what happened when that fear went away.

At the other end of the spectrum, we have ol’ Michael Steele dropping RNC cash like it was a Palin inlaw, this time in the nefarious dives of Liberal Hollywood, one of which had nekkid gals dangling from the ceiling and making out with each other.  If this was Steele’s attempt to create a Big tent, he may have been onto something, but I’m guessing that the poles were inadequate.   No diapers were involved, but honestly…  could the Family Values Party be any more cheesily perverted?  Even as they tirelessly campaign to deprive real lesbians from marrying and living normal lives, they proudly and extravagantly get their vicarious thrills from watching fake ones, and do so in groups?  Well, since they’re the self-appointed guardians of American Morality, I guess they have to cut loose once in a while, just like those choir directors at the Vatican.

It’s always dangerous to set oneself up as a moral guardian, and doing so definitely makes it a lot more problematic to have a little fun, given any semblance of a functioning and informed society.  That’s not what we have, though; we are governed by a “do as I say, not as I do” elite, who simply dismiss public opprobrium as “petty gossip,” since they know that there won’t ever be any real penalties for such blatant hypocrisy.  Rules, like taxes, are for the little people.  The Pope and Michael Steele might have gotten a little carried away, but history is as always on their side, and though the names and institutions may change, the story is as old as time.


  1. The Heel says:

    Papa Razzi sure has this sinister look with his dark, circumorbital rings. German satire magazine “Titanic” had years of continuous coverage of this Kraut version of a right winger. I guess if you want to become the Pontifex you need to be a master in boot licking, hypocrisy and intrigues. Your core values must not deviate too far from the proven course, the impressive ship has steered for 2000 years, or you won’t be tolerated on the bridge. Knowledge of how to peel an altar boy is optional and certainly not a problem, I would guess.

    On a bigger picture, what is seriously saddens me is that true freedom fighters in Europe gave their lives to free us from this nonsense, yet people in the 21st century voluntarily run to churches. Disgusting, Pathetic.

    • cocktailhag says:

      Well, from an admittedly high base, the fastest growing “faith” in the US is “none.” That’s a good sign. Even as I type, I can hear Jesus ranters in the park… No one’s listening, but I still find it annoying.

  2. michlib says:

    Christopher Hitchens and Bill Maher did a good segment on Der Fuh, errr, his holiness on Real Time. It seems the crutch, I mean church, is more interested in protecting wayward pedophiles than children.
    The Vatican itself is now serving as haven to scofflaws, even allowing them to participate in selecting popes ( wonder what weight that voting bloc carries ). Wonder what they’re giving up for Lent.

    • cocktailhag says:

      Well, since they don’t like “petty gossip,” I imagine they’ll give up watching TV and reading newspapers. Fox and the Right have already jumped in to decry such untoward harassment of the pope, and if Steele weren’t already an unmitigated disaster he would be perfectly safe, too.

  3. Well I have to say that you’re much kinder and gentler to the Old Faith than Matt Taibbi, and wittier too.

    Knowing what I know about altar boys from listening to their tittilating tales when I was of altar boy age myself, I find it hard to weep for them. (I was a Protestant, and so had to learn about such depravities from scoutmasters and coaches.) Gawd, if middle-class parents only knew what their chosen deputies in loco parentis had dredged up on the shores of suburbia, I dare say they’d all have shot themselves in their garages long before any of us reached our damaged adulthoods.

    As for the little kiddies, I can only wonder how any adult couldn’t have understood the danger that they were in. Piety is a terrible scourge — that’s all I can find to say.

  4. michlib says:

    It’s just reassuring that the holy see ( along with Glenn Beck ) know who the real scourge of civilization is – the ( ominous organ music ) dreaded secular humanists !!!

  5. retzilian says:

    The Catholic Church is a lot like the Politburo of the USSR of yore. We will have to wait for the old guard to die off and when the new guard takes power (cardinals under 65), there will be changes.

    Not that I give a ratz azz. I left the Catholic church in 1979 never to return.

    • cocktailhag says:

      I’m not so sure about that. A lot of the growth in the Church has been with the more crazy factions, like “Legion of Faith” and Opus Dei, and this seems to be where the action is. I think it’s just as likely that the church will break in two, like the Anglicans.

    • The Heel says:

      Hi Retzi,
      Frank Zappa’s “Catholic Girls” is now in my head and I sit here and smile…
      If it wasn’t for the extreme suppression of sexuality within the official church rules and moral boundries, Maestro Zappa would likely not have had the experience and urge to write a song about the often resulting overindulgence in sexuality of certain catholic girls :) – “…aber wehe wenn sie losgelassen”

      Sometimes I am chagrined that I was brought up by religiously ambivalent parents. It ain’t fun if it is allowed….

      Then again, I also don’t smash my finger with a hammer just to enjoy the feeling of the pain going away.

  6. meremark says:

    Well, this isn’t his best work-up, (defined as ‘stimulating the most thought’), among recent pieces, but my newest dazzle is Jonah Lehrer’s blog, The Frontal Cortex. Heck, this piece isn’t even pertinent to the scandal of this poopy-pants pope, who likely smokes dope. Or should. Actually, I haven’t found any perspective told on the pope that added any value beyond Ringo Starr’s lyrics and last word on the subject – The Pope owns fifty-one percent of General Motors / The Stock Exchange is the only thing he’s qualified to quote us.

    Besides, Lehrer is talking about dullards whose minds truly believe this sh!t, the whole disembodied redeemer figment and foolery, whereas the incumbent diablo dud seems all guile and no good. Goofin’ on Gawd.

    But I just like Lehrer’s lilt and here’s what he says about that, for your frontal cortex fun:

    March 17, 2010 – Randomness and God

    The world is a confusing place. Correlation looks like causation; the signal sounds like the noise; randomness is everywhere. This raises the obvious question: How does the human brain cope with such an epistemic mess? How do we deal with the helter-skelter of reality? One approach would be to ground all of our beliefs in modesty and uncertainty, to recognize that we know so little and understand even less.

    Needless to say, that’s not what we do. Instead of grappling with the problem of induction, we believe in God. Instead of applying Bayesian logic, we slip into rigid ideologies, which lead us to neglect all sorts of salient facts.

    A new paper by psychologists at ….

    If Lehrer is representative of young thoughty-ness today and the heading it is headed in generations tomorrow, as I consider he is — atheists all, then God is in fact dead as a doornail, like Engels or Marx or Darwin or Nietzsche observed aloud long ago, and the ‘organized religion’ ruse is all over but the rotting.