Rip Van Cohen

Considering that Richard Cohen has been a Villager in good standing since before I could drink legally, typing up dumbed-down Broderisms at the WaPoo with thudding regularity, you’d think he’d have at least absorbed a little bit of what was going on in that town all those years.  But no….  it seems he thinks that willful stupidity as a political asset for Republican candidates began with Sarah Palin.

Maybe he spent the Reagan years plugging his ears and singing Frere Jacques, but doesn’t he remember a guy who thought trees caused air pollution and babbled about “Armageddon and so forth?”  And more recently, another two-term Republican who could not pronounce “nuclear” correctly and peppered his speeches with words like “wudn’t” and “idn’t?”  Thirty years of loud, proud, Republican stupidity simply passed him by, when it was his purported JOB to write about such things.  Further, he didn’t belatedly notice the stoopid when it mattered, i.e., when Sarah Plain was actually running for anything, but four years later, when he watched a TV show about what he was supposed to have been covering.  So give him credit for timeliness, too:

Since Palin, though, ignorance has become more than bliss. It’s now an attribute, an entire platform: Vote for me, I know nothing and hate the same things you do.

Though the column is typically long-winded, he nonetheless carefully avoids any mention of which things Palin doesn’t know, because the WaPoo’s op-ed page is stuffed with people who just as proudly don’t know the same things.  Take Robert Samuelson on the military and Social Security, George Will on Global Warming, Charles Krauthammer on, well, anything, and stuff it into a tight skirt and you’ve got Palin.  So Poor Richard has to keep things general, and is thus able to maintain the content-free standard for which he’s so famous, while sneaking furtively away from a colossal, well, FAIL.

He’s equally silent about the things Palin hates, for pretty much the same reason, one assumes.  It’s pretty hard to be so condemnatory of unnamed hate, though, without telling one’s long-suffering readers what, pray, hate are you talking about?  At times I myself have difficulty translating Palin’s word salads, but even without being paid to do so, I can easily conjure up a list of the things she hates.  Liberals, Journalists, Environmentalists, Peace Activists, Government (except the military, natch…), Muslims, Atheists, Feminists, and undoubtedly many others that slip her mind from time to time.  Also, too: keep an eye on the Russians.

All the questionably worthy WaPoo colleagues above hate the same things, in varying degrees, and to that list I’d have to add Editor (!) Fred Hiatt and occasionally, Cohen himself.  But it seems that something’s in the air at the Wapoo, besides buyout offers and pink slips, that is….   Some oxygen has managed to reach Cohen’s, and even more surprisingly, Hiatt’s, brains.  Not enough for them to write about it coherently, of course, but I like it.  Just the other day, Hiatt, too, whined that Republicans were dissing “coastal” Americans, and it hurt his lil’ fee-fees.  Guess what, guys?  You can’t unshit the bed.  Sarah Palin and her ilk didn’t “ruin” American politics; clueless gasbags like yourselves did.


  1. loretta says:

    “The New Misogyny” is published. Hope you enjoy it.

  2. Annice says:

    Mike check

  3. avelna says:

    Of course the other thing they all hate with a passion is Obama. And what I hate about that is having to defend him from their stupid, ignorant attacks because I really can’t abide Obama either for entirely different and justifiable reasons. It’s a quandary.

    Loretta (Retzilian?) May I pass around your posts?

  4. Ché Pasa says:

    Here I thought you’d written his obituary.

    I swear Cohen has been in a coma for years…

  5. loretta says:

    sorry – fingers on wrong keys, too early, need more coffee, and it’s “In flagrante delicto” I can spell, really.

    • cocktailhag says:

      Wasn’t that hilarious? We found out a day or so after all the warm and wonderful eulogies in the paper, that a hooker was involved.
      By all accounts, he died happy.

      • Bill Schee says:

        Sounds like former Mayor Morial who had to be unplugged several hours after his heart stopped, hauled home from the boathouse and only then the coroner was called.

        All his girlfriend had to say was “What a ride!”