The Stale, Pale, Males
Mike Papantonio, who’s been subbing a lot for Thom Hartmann and Ed Schultz lately on their radio shows, calls today’s Republicans (among other things), “the stale, pale, males.” This admittedly juvenile moniker, unfortunately, gets more accurate each day. If anything, it’s a bit of an understatement. Yesterday we were treated to yet another Republican candidate referring to rape, and the conceptions thereby accomplished, as “God’s Plan,” as though such dangerous nonsense were acceptable even on the fringes of American politics. But the loathsome dimwit who said it, Richard Mourdock, is hardly some outlier; he has plenty of company in Todd Akin, Paul Ryan, John Cornyn, and Mitt Romney himself, if you catch him on the right day.
Ordinarily, I’d be tempted to say that among Republicans, rape is the new black, but the reality is quite the opposite. You see, in 2012, black is every sort of bad, but rape is, well, just the latest victim of a bad rap by a bunch of slutty liberal harpies who had it coming, anyway. Once they’re saddled with pushing strollers and changing diapers, those tramps will be forced to set aside the high heels and miniskirts for good, saving sexually frustrated Republicans from a lifetime of unfulfilled boners. Or something.
But not entirely unexpectedly, this attitude can manifest itself in unexpected and embarrassing ways for the party that stoops to it, which has resulted in this little bit of schadenfreude: (h/t TPM):
Heber » Faced with rape charges that could have put him in prison for the rest of his life, political activist Greg Peterson killed himself Tuesday, just days after posting a $2 million bond and being released from jail.
Peterson, 37, was found dead in his Heber City cabin, the site of some of the highlights of his political endeavors, and the place where prosecutors said Peterson raped at least two of his victims.
Gill charged Peterson in July with 25 charges of assault, rape and kidnapping stemming from alleged attacks on four women he met through LDS dating websites. Later, Wasatch County prosecutors filed similar charges involving a fifth alleged victim.
Peterson had been in the Salt Lake County jail until Friday, when he posted bond and was allowed to walk free.
Now, just because this guy is a Mormon and a Romney fundraiser, I suppose it would be unfair of me to say that his crimes are a stark reflection of the stale, pale, male attitude toward women in general, but I’m going to say it anyway. I’m beginning to grasp why Republicans went so nuts on Clinton: he was able to get sex consensually, something Republicans, as a rule, can never do, unless they set up a large Tiffany’s account, anyway. That’s why they routinely risk electoral disaster with their off-putting fake piety; the poor things can’t get laid unless they happen to have a remote cabin and a gun in the car.
Through this lens, it’s much easier to understand sexual harassers like Bill O’Reilly, or the teabagging Tennessee foot doctor who cajoled one of his several mistresses to abort his baby. To them, women are some alien species placed on earth to satisfy their urgings, and the only problem is that nearly all of them refuse to do so willingly. They long for a past when women were the non-voting property of men like themselves, and they didn’t have to refrain from being assholes for up to a whole evening just to get their rocks off.
Make no mistake; what little of the Republican platform that isn’t entirely dedicated to fattening overstuffed wallets is about what’s in the front of the pants, and quite evidently doesn’t get out enough.