You Are What You Eat

At the risk of sounding (again) like a Liberal Elitist, what is it about righties and their disgusting food?  Invariably, whenever you hear about a restaurant chain run by and for the greater glory of Fox News America, it’s impossible to boycott it because no one in their right mind would consider eating there in the first place.  Think about it…. the righty pizza comes from Godfather’s and Domino’s, both of which serve greasy discs of ketchup, Velveeta, and Wonderbread utterly inedible to anyone over the age of twelve, unless, perhaps, marijuana is involved.  For breakfast and late night meals, you have such culinary wonders as the aptly named Cracker Barrel and Denny’s, serving up unappetizing platters of type II diabetes along with a heaping side of institutionalized racism.  Fear of the food and dread of the clientele, both entirely justified, has long ago driven all but the most stupid from patronizing such shoddy establishments, but stupidity and dreadful eating habits in America aren’t exactly waning, so they continue to thrive, having found their niche amongst the untold legions of the fat and pimply.

It’s the sort of thing I continued to let slide without comment until I came across this story about something called Chick-fil-A, whose undoubtedly exclusively heterosexual clientele thinks it’s fine and dandy to, well, spend millions to harass the gays and whatnot.  (h/t Raw Story, emphases mine):

The American Family Association, a conservative Christian group, is urging people to show appreciation for the fast food chain Chick-fil-A by purchasing their products during the week of April 25-30.

You can just picture the mobility scooters lining up in the crummy food courts in America’s drearier malls….

The so-called “buycott” is in response to an “attack by homosexual activists against the Christian-owned Chick-fil-A company,” the group said.

They could have been Foodies with fashion sense, too, but this possibility remains unexplored.

The American Family Association also said it was pleased the fast food chain plays Christian music in its restaurants and closes all its locations on Sunday. Chick-fil-A’s corporate purpose states that the business exists to “glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us” and “have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A.”

That’s what you want when you’re trying to beat Dick Cheney to your first heart attack by gobbling salmonella-ridden chicken from a slippery box in some dowdy mid-sized airport; a bunch of Holy Singers caterwauling in the background.  Do they have strolling nuns hitting belchers with rulers, too?  That would be some positive influence, though certainly not on “all.”

Chick-fil-A, which has 1,550 locations in 39 states, has been accused of having deep financial ties to nationwide organizations that oppose marriage equality and lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) rights. According to an investigation by the progressive blog EqualityMatters, the restaurant chain’s charitable (!) division has provided more than $1.1 million to anti-LGBT organizations, including the Alliance Defense Fund and Family Research Council.

I know Christians only read the one book, but must they shun the dictionary. too?  Charitable?  Sheesh.

Because of the fast food chain’s donations, students at Indiana University South Bend have pushed to have Chick-fil-A products removed from their campus. In addition, LGBT groups have initiated boycotts against the fast food chain.

A wise move.  No sense nipping youthful idealism, not to mention attractiveness, in the bud by serving terrible food to them from a bunch of religious freaks.

The American Family Association noted that LGBT rights advocates have mockingly referred to Chick-fil-A’s products as “Jesus chicken.”

And the AFA, as you see, are actually proud of this rather blasphemous moniker.  I suspect Jesus himself would beg to differ; no cardboard boxes on the table are evident in “The Last Supper,” as far as I can tell, and they served wine to boot, just like those commie, faggy French.

The president of Chick-fil-A has insisted that the company is not anti-gay, but is merely operating a business according to Biblical principles and supporting healthy families.

Healthy, in this case, despite eating at such a contemptible slop-house.  Fat=Good, Gay=Bad.  Please make a note of it.

“We have no agenda against anyone,” Dan Cathy, President and COO of the fast food chain, said in a statement from January. “At the heart and soul of our company, we are a family business that serves and values all people regardless of their beliefs or opinions.”

All they have to do is be bigoted and like shitty food.  Sounds like a business model to me.



  1. Annice says:

    Now I have heard everything! Being a Catholic I would never even attempt to step into one of those joints!
    What is with these people! Religion is not supposed to be in your face let alone in a restaurant! OMG! (Oh did I say that outloud)

  2. cocktailhag says:

    I avoided it simply because the name was so suspicious; usually when things are misspelled it means they are something else, like Froot Loops, sort of. Or “creme.” Sounded more like chicken shit than chicken salad, as LBJ might have put it. Why eat that?

  3. nswfm says:

    I love you, Cocktail Hag, whatever your orientation might be. I’m straight, but would rather be alone than to be with a jerk. Thanks for exposing the jerks.

    Those chicken-shit,false Christian CEO types, I do not love at all. Good to have been a lacto ovo vegetarian since “giving up meat for Lent” when I was 10. Now, with radiation contaminated milk, I may just go vegan. Sorry, Hole-y Roller types, Dick Cheney’s heart attack awaits you.

    • cocktailhag says:

      Nothing wrong with being alone, especially post (hopefully multiple) jerk, and to tell you the truth, I even find plants a little hard to live with in my old age.
      But a hag’s gotta eat, and certainly not that. (I do eat meat, just not the scary processed kind…)
      Sadly, I don’t think you can avoid radiation even if you’re vegan; that crap shows up in the spinach and such. We’re all Wile E. Coyote putting up the umbrella as the boulder drops.

      • nswfm says:

        Luckily, I’ve been able to avoid most jerks.

        On the second point, yeah, I know. The air, water and food chain are all contaminated, but at least the lower food chain vegetables and fruits aren’t concentrating the contamination into one convenient package delivery of radio isotopes. Trying to find food things where the outside peels off.

  4. retzilian says:

    Ok, I happen to have more than a passing acquaintance with Chick Fil-A, one which was built a few years ago in the site of my old (torn-down) favorite indoor mall. Like Hag, I thought the name so stupid, the food could not be edible.

    However, daughter #3, in high school, said the food was good. So, like any busy, lazy working mom, I went thru the drive-thru and ordered the kids some food. This is what Chick-Fil-A is really like:

    1) Outrageously overpriced fast-food. You cannot feed 3 people under $20
    2) Dry, salty, marbly textured chicken salad served on cold wheat toast.
    3) Small portions of slightly better chicken breast than its competitors, but see #1 – not that much better!
    4) Large, deep-fried waffle fries where that take up more room than fries and cost more. If you want decent fries, go to Wendy’s. For 99 cents you get twice as much.
    5) Overpriced, weird desserts including “peach” milkshakes.
    6) Over-the-top friendly wait staff that are like Chipmunks on laughing gas. My daughter and I make fun of them.

    However, now that I know about this, it all makes sense. I will not go there anymore. Not that I much went anyway.

    • cocktailhag says:

      Sounds gross. And the whole point of fast food is it’s supposed to be cheap, so I’d call that a double fail.
      Might be fun to moon those chipmunks, though…..

  5. avelna says:

    And speaking of righty fast food places:
    I admit, I didn’t have the stomach to actually watch the video. Remains to be seen whether anybody actually receives any punishment for this.

  6. Henry says:

    Being a proud Christian, I would NEVER and I mean NEVER judge others lifestyles!! These so called “Christians” will be judged in the end and I for one am glad these franchises are not located when I live; even so, I would never grace them with my business. Live and let live!! Viva La Vida!!! * Great Post Hagster.

  7. omooex says:

    What the Hell does Chick fil A mean? Is that supposed to sound like an existing word?

    • cocktailhag says:

      My best guess, which isn’t all that tasty-sounding, is “filet,” but that’s admittedly speculative. Then there’s the “chick” part; chicken is food, “chick” is either a little yellow cuddly fluff ball or a young woman, neither of who are generally dumped in a deep fryer and pushed out a drive-through window. I could investigate, but the hold music might put me over the edge.

  8. inutilis says:

    I agree that Chickfilet is a disgusting, vile, bigoted, and hate filled group. I am glad to learn about this because I had no idea of their aims. I have never been there but will not go in the future. However, I am not sure that my support means much to you, because I am overweight. I guess I am on the wrong side of the Good/Bad divide. And I understand that I am seen as uneducated and pimply. I am used to being seen as less-than. It happens every day. Nevertheless, I wish you the best with your cause.

    • cocktailhag says:

      I apologize for my snark in this post, which has, not unusually, offended a bunch of people. I myself have fought weight my whole life (the drinking may be involved), so I can certainly sympathize. Please understand that when I make such generalizations, I mean no harm; mostly I’m trying to be funny.
      I do think fast food, and its handmaidens in agribusiness, are making all of us fatter and less healthy, and we could all do with less of it.

  9. dirigo says:

    “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”


  10. retzilian says:

    Off topic, but still in the news – I notice that not one major (or minor) insurance company is promoting the idea of vouchers in lieu of Medicare. Right now, the private insurance companies that offer Medicare Advantage or Part D plans receive a guaranteed, automatic monthly premium from the government for every member they manage. Also, too, Medicare and its private forms are guaranteed issue, which means nobody gets turned down because of health.

    The insurance companies have no interest in this proposal. I have yet to receive a single email from AHIP, Anthem, Aetna, United Health Care, etc. etc. that supports this idea. Not one. And they were all actively lobbying against the ACA. (aka Obamacare)

    If the Republican voucher plan were to become law, the insurance companies would have to heavily market to the healthy retirees (iow, cherry pick them), and try to find ways to discourage the unehealthy ones either through higher premiums or confusing policies. Unless the law includes the mandate that the new Medicare insurance be guarantee issue (which undermines the profitability of it), there will be the same disparity in this market as the current market for under 65.

    The current profit margin for Medicare Advantage is under 3%. Pretty much not even worth doing, at this point.

    Absolutely nobody is discussing this. The idiots in the media and in Congress don’t understand Medicare or health insurance, and this entire proposal is a farce.

  11. Jesus says:

    There is another up and comer in the Chick Fil A vein, 4Rivers Smokehouse. Right now there are just two locations near Orlando FL. But they want want to expand, to normal places like Chicago IL and Boston MA. The head of 4Rivers is buddies with head of Chick Fil A. You can find some evidence here:

    And why do they only have white people on their team? There are lots of minorities in Central Florida, but none employed in management for 4Rivers according to the pics on their site.