It’s the White ACORN

Just when I was contentedly glorying in the delicious schadenfreude of the Wisconsin spring elections, amid the predictable and plaintive wailing about election fraud from the usual suspects, I popped into the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel for another satisfying jolt but instead found this:

In a political bombshell, the clerk in a Republican stronghold is set to release new vote totals giving 8,000 votes in the state Supreme Court race back toward Justice David Prosser, swinging the race significantly in his favor.

Yeah, finding enough conveniently overlooked “votes” under the sofa cushions to put your previously losing candidate comfortably over the top does tend to be a bombshell in most places, for good reason. A normal journalist would respond, “Interesting, if true.”  Not this guy….

The Waukesha County clerk’s office has told state elections officials that they will be adjusting the vote totals to give incumbent David Prosser more than 7,000 new votes, said Mike Haas, staff attorney for the state Government Accountability Board.

Who may or may not be a drunken 20-something and son of a lobbyist.

The numbers will add some 11,000 votes for Prosser and some 3,000 for Kloppenburg, he said. Haas said the Accountability Board was not giving a reason for the change, but more details are expected soon from Waukesha County Clerk Kathy Nickolaus.

The most cursory digging shows that the irreproachable Nickolaus happens to be, at least metaphorically, the love child of Ken Blackwell and Katharine Harris, (with Karl Rave as Godfather) in the way she has, well, handled election issues in the past. (The usual transferring data to home computers and whatnot…)  Milwaukee’s Paper of Record unsurprisingly fails to point this out, as they fall hook, line, and sinker to eagerly explain the glorious miracle at hand:

The new numbers may provide some clarity to a race that had appeared to be headed toward the first statewide recount in two decades and as well spring a new surprise on a state that had already faced two months of chaotic politics. But the numbers also seemed almost certain to inject new controversy into an already heated race.

Ya think?  Sadly for the geniuses of the Journal-Sentinel, “clarity” is impossible when it comes from, much less benefits, the larcenous, lying marauders they clearly love so much.  Chaos, on the other hand, is a thing to be dreaded, almost as much as her little sister, controversy, when it comes from despicable freeloaders like firemen and teachers.  Nobody’s buying this crap anymore, but unapologetically soldiers on in feigned ignorance of this fact, in an almost touchingly laughable way:

Once the final official numbers are in, either candidate – but no one else – can request a recount. If the margin between the candidates is less than 0.5% the state charges nothing to conduct the recount.

But the added votes from Waukesha County could push the total far enough toward Prosser that a free recount would no longer be available to Kloppenburg, who on Wednesday had an unofficial 204-vote lead out of nearly 1.5 million votes cast.

If the final margin of victory is between 0.5% and 2% of the vote, the candidate asking for the recount must pay $5 per ward.

Isn’t it just so funny the way these things always turn out so right for Republicans?  Evidently at the JS, they agree with Gen. Boykin that God just steps in sometimes when Righties are in trouble.  This time, Republicans even got the math right, which ought to raise red flags in itself, but no, as you can see:

In other changes:

Changes?  That’s a new word for them, anyway.  What sort of changes, as though I need ask…

• In Winnebago County, officials now say Prosser received 20,701 votes to Kloppenburg’s 18,887. On Wednesday, the Associated Press – which gathers the votes for most of the media in Wisconsin — had 19,991 for Prosser to Kloppenburg’s 18,421.

Apparently you can stuff less votes in a Winnebago than I’d previously thought….

• In Kenosha, Prosser picked up 33 votes in the Town of Randall and 27 votes on the Town of Bristol, and the canvass is still going on.

Every little bit helps, you know.

• In Waukesha County, David Prosser picked up 200 votes in New Berlin after a clerical error was discovered.

You can’t get good help these days….

• In Grant County, Prosser lost 116 votes when officials completed their canvass Thursday. The count was off in part because the Town of Smelser incorrectly reported the count for paper ballots that voters cast after the regular ballots ran out, County Clerk Linda Gebhardt said. The town reported 294 votes for Prosser, but later corrected the figure to 194, Gebhardt said.

Obviously this commie Grant County must be overrun by ACORN, the New Black Panthers, and worse, and will soon face a Megyn Kelly aircraft landing.  Not so much the other places.

Fortunately, Wisconsin has paper ballots; unfortunately, they have the Journal Sentinel.  Looks like a rightie win to me.


  1. nswfm says:

    How fucking hard is it to count votes? Most 3rd graders can handle this. Unless there is some kind of fraud going on…

  2. cocktailhag says:

    Well, as this story shows, it’s a task that becomes either easier or harder depending on whether you’re winning or not. And how dumb the nearby media is. Really. Just enough votes to stop a free recount?
    I need (another) drink.

    • dirigo says:

      How in Hell could they come up with the votes of over 7,000 dead people in a Winnebago, virtually overnight?

      Something’s rotten in the state of Wisconsin.

      • cocktailhag says:

        Well, perhaps the fountain of youth has finally ben discovered. Pour some into my glass, please. And put some gin in it.

        • dirigo says:

          This stinks, like cheese on your noggin before the big game. Even someone like me, native to the home of the gerrymander, can figure this out!

          C’mmmonnnnn …

  3. bystander says:

    Tweet of the day:

    Yup RT @plcorbett OH: “Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from corruption.” #WIunion 4 minutes ago via web in reply to plcorbett

  4. Jim Montague says:

    I found this article while exploring all of the conspiracy theories floating around the internet. This one actually stirs some provocative questions:
    “According to the 2010 census, there are 38,649 living in Brookfield. Of these Male 48.4% Female 51.6%, Median Age 42…

    …”Most of the media has been focusing on the 38,649 number, which — given a 33% turnout over all — would yield about the 14,000 votes reported.
    …”But the voting age and over population for Brookfield is 73.2%. This yields a possible voting base of 28,291. Registered voters? Doesn’t matter. Wisconsin allows folks to register on the day of the elections.

    So, let’s assume all of the 28,291 were registered. The figures don’t add up: Statewide turnout —and in the rest of Waukesha county — was 33%. Even assuming that all 28,291 over the age of 18 were registered voters, that 33% turnout — which was reported as very high — would have yielded no more than 9,430 votes.

    But Kathy Nickalous reported 14,315 votes, a surprising 53% increase of a voting surge, for that one city — over the rest of Wisconsin and from Wuukesha County — from 33% to 50.5%

    And in Brookfield, at least 75% of that total had to choose incumbent David Prosser against 25% for challenger Joan Klopenberg to reach just beyond the .5% margin to avoid a mandatory recount.

    • cocktailhag says:

      Oh, you just haven’t been reading the JS enough. Today they totally explained how the numbers were completely normal, selectively using some of the statistics you just provided. Why do you hate America, you hippie?

  5. Jim Montague says:

    Yep, But that won’t stop me from investing in piano wire futures.

    • cocktailhag says:

      I hear that butt-friendly light sticks are selling like hotcakes, too. And my own idea, the Leaf Blower/Sammy, is sure to take off. Comes with a gardener’s cap that fits over your turban, if you order now.

  6. Ché Pasa says:

    ♫First there is a mountain then there is no mountain, then there is ♫…

    This whole situation reminds me of that striking Cat Stevens song from long ago.

    ♪Oh Juanita! I call your name…♪

    Or “Kathy” as the case may be.

    As others have far more eloquently than I noted, why is it that every single election anomaly in — oh, I don’t know — the last fifty years or so accrued to the benefit of the Radical Reactionaries/Fascists? Why is that?

    Well, of course.

    It’s not Unlucky Fate; it’s Divine Intervention.

    Silly mortals!

    ♫First there is a mountain then there is no mountain, then there is ♫…

    • cocktailhag says:

      Actually, it’s part of the strategy. Not for nothing has the Republican Party been in constant trouble for voter supression all these years; they start cheating before the election and really get going afterward.

  7. retzilian says:

    I would donate to have her do a paper recount. I hope she sets up an account. She’ll get the money. Brad Friedman (the go-to guy for election fraud) is hot on this story.