Asses and Pigs; no elephants need apply

I just can’t buy the elephant as a symbol for the Republican party. The Democratic donkey seems appropriate because members do make an asses out of themselves more than they should and many cling stubbornly to their issue regardless of whether it has any chance of becoming a reality.

What the Repug character, not true conservatives, have done to our nation and the world since Reagan is simply not elephantish. An elephant herd leader doesn’t thump around with a snarky smile and run for an underground bunker when jumped by mice. Then through lies and propaganda start a war with camels.

True elephants do have excellent memories, but I when I think of Repugs, I don’t see elephants living the attack daily and still bellowing about it eight years after the event. When I see fake smiling, selfish Repug NIMBYs who will destroy anything in their path and could care less what happens to others as long is they get theirs, I don’t envision elephants plodding along bothering no one. I do envision pigs feeding at a trough ignoring anything or anybody until they have sopped up as much dirty slop as possible. And, as one who fed a lot of farm pigs in my childhood, it seems to me, pigs are always smiling especially just before twice daily making their own trough their worst enemy. Their benevolent feeder, me, would have been trampled too if the pigs hadn’t been penned in and I could feed them without entering it.

I hereby initiate a one-man campaign to change the Repug party animal to a pig.

The inspiration came to me when I read this Alternet headline, Why Goldman Sachs Is the Greediest and Most Dastardly of the Wall Street Pigs. Had they used elephants vice pigs, it just wouldn’t have worked for me. I’ve never met any greedy and dastardly elephants. I have met many pigs that were very greedy. I can’t vouch for dastardly. If someone has a dastardly pig experience, please share it with us.

I realize that pigs are going to be very upset with me because pigs are only dirty due to the conditions they are raised in. It is not their fault that hereditary genes make them go crazy when feeding in a group. I don’t think Repugs have such a gene although their crazy view of the world and extreme selfishness does get passed from generation to generation, so possibly I am wrong.

Repugs really don’t have long term memory like elephants. How hard is it to remember how you have lived every day of your life? Anyone can daily observe with awe Repug leader memory loss when their candidates and congress critters totally contradict themselves, sometimes in only minutes. Lying doesn’t seem to be a part of any animal characteristic, although if we understood their sounds better, I might be proved wrong. So the fact that Repugs are such skilled and experienced liars is not relevant to the choice of an animal symbol.

Have you ever picked up a pig especially by their hind legs? They squeal and scream and fuss from the moment they leave the ground and will not stop until once again resting on terra firma. Isn’t that just like a Repug when somebody dares to try and change their world? The fact that the world could be better for everyone is dismissed as unpatriotic because it requires change. And just by threatening change, a governor pig might get so mad that he wants to secede from his own government that has allowed him to prosper greatly. Naw, not even a pig-in-the-air would be that crazy. Now if you promised to give that pig eleven million to fix up his pen, that pig might stop squealing long enough to get the money.

Greedy feeding pigs never seem to get enough. That has to be why pigs have been so maligned and why we use them as adjectives to describe behavior we don’t like. It is also why pig so aptly describes Repug behavior. Single payer is clearly the solution to provide the best and least expensive universal health care. Even Barack Obama said so when he was running for the senate. But when he came up with a campaign platform to run for president, he recognized that the drug and insurance industry had so many Repug congress critters feeding at their trough, that he dismissed it as impossible. Too many Democratic critters are making asses at the lobby trough as well. They use a variety of disguises and excuses, so it is harder to see through to their piggishness.

I thought of some other animals that might work for the Repugs. The zebra color scheme would remind us about how so many of these Repugs should be behind bars for the crimes they have done to truth, rule of law, international law, our constitution, civil liberties and the hundreds of millions of people suffering all over the world. The ostrich because the Repugs will stick their head either up their asses or in the sand so that they can keep their ears plugged and minds closed to any logic or humane actions. The octopus because they love to entangle their foes in their dirty deeds, throw a dark cloud around their minds and scoot away when threat approaches. I can’t think of any animal that is a coward or could possibly reach the level of cowardliness as The Dick has achieved. There are too many animal species who will screw everything in sight to set them apart from the other animals and do viagra extreme screwing at the quality level of The Dick.

Vampire bats, vulchers, a pack of hyenas, forked tongue snakes, sharks, maggots also come to mind when I envision Repugs. What comes to your mind? I’m sure it isn’t an elephant.


  1. cocktailhag says:

    Ah, pigs. For the first time in my life, I can limn some positive aspect of summer visits to my father’s ranch outside Burns, Oregon, where I quickly found that the domestic animals were every bit as shockingly repulsive as the wild ones. Having greatly enjoyed my early childhood in a leafy city neighborhood where everyone had a baby grand and parks, candy stores, fountains from which coins could be fished were all within my personal orbit, especially with an older sibling involved, summers in Burns, known locally as Hell’s ugly stepsister, was a real eye-opener. The town, which ran a few blocks in two directions, did have several dozen trees, which made it sparkle like like the Emerald City in the distance on the rare occasions we were ever taken there.
    The rest of the time was spent, unsupervised, at the “ranch,” which seems a rather generous term to describe a double wide in the middle of nowhere. We discovered the joys and pifalls of the local fauna… jackrabbits, rattlesnakes, gophers, horned toads and a particularly frightening colorful beetle like thing that resembled, in both size and color, a Cootie from the eponymous game; and flora, sagebrush, tumbleweeds, and dust. My older brother learned to drive, after a fashion, at age 12 or so, which led to at least a week or so of fun until we ended up hanging from both bumpers over an irrigation ditch, a predicament that took several hours to rectify, in an area completely lacking in rocks, lumber, or moldable soil.
    But back to the pigs. One year, Dad had a pig named “Ophelia,” whose male predecessor was undoubtedly named “Hamlet,” since my Dad was a more than usually literate and witty redneck. Naturally, it was our job to feed and water her. Ophelia was a horror. First of all, there was just so much of her. I had always envisioned pigs to be like Porky, who kind of looked like a toddler so I thought pigs were about that size. Oh, no. To my five-year-old eyes, she was a mammoth beast, stinky, disgusting and mean, and if ever I feel any sympathy for PETA types, I close my eyes and think of her. I never felt safe around her pen, which looked far too flimsy to keep her in, and as you said, Paul, her gluttonous frenzy at meal time gave me nightmares for years.
    The next year, though, she was a whole freezer full of white-wrapped tasty treats…. A considerable improvement over the elk and such we were used to.
    Well-marbled though many Repubs are, I doubt they’d be tasty.

    • rmp says:

      My grandpa and great uncle only named their milk cows and horses, never any pigs, turkeys, chickens or even cats. Even though they kept the sow pigs around for procreation, they didn’t form any relationship. Strictly business like our Repug pigs. Guess they didn’t trust the constant smiles.

      • cocktailhag says:

        Although Ophelia had a name, it was decidedly non-anthropomorphizing. We only had “relationships” with the horses. I do think the pig analogy is great the more I think about it. The insatiable desire for more that makes them eat themselves to death. What infuriates me most is that, aside from the “far-left” blogosphere, it’s completely unmentionable that Cheney, through Halliburton, directly enriched himself through both war and Gitmo. He confidently goes on TV each day (it seems) knowing that no gasbag will ever ask, “How much did Gitmo cost? And how much would KBR make dismantling it?”

  2. Steven Rockford says:

    Pig! I like that.

    I have always thought that the GOP should be changed to the CCCP
    (Crony Capitalist Controlled Party). The obvious link to the USSR would probably do them good.

    Let’s let New Gingrich try to work that one out.

    • rmp says:

      Your typo on Newt’s name may be a Freudian slip because he so much wants to be seen as new. These pigs think that all they have to say is they are new and the slop and dirt they have wallowed in all their lives, just disappears like Abra cadabera magic. The scary thing is some of them start to believe what they are saying and since they have pig memories, it’s easy for them.

      • Steven Rockford says:

        You’re right, it was a typo. You’re also right that it may have been a Freudian slip. There is nothing “new” about the “neo” conservative republican party. These people have been using their “new ideas” way of thinking since the Reagan administration. There is nothing “new” about having the “rich get richer” and the “poor get poorer”. It’s in their blood. To them, it’s a fact of life.

        • rmp says:

          I remember from some UT comments that you made that you live in IL and probably Rockford. I live in Naperville.

          • Steven Rockford says:

            No, I don’t live in IL anymore. I moved to Arizona a while back. Great place. Do you ever get down this way?

          • rmp says:

            I haven’t been to Arizona in a long time. If I do head that way, I’ll let you know so we can hook up.

  3. Karen M says:

    But I thought pigs were supposed to be so smart?

    Of course, I suppose that was once true of Republicans, too?

    • rmp says:

      I know they’re not smart when feeding at the trough. If they are smart at other times, they do a good job of hiding it. I haven’t seen any pig acts at the circus, but they could be too smart to fall for tricks. The fact that they only provide bacon and ham isn’t too smart either. Many domesticated animals figured out other tricks to keep from being eaten. So pigs may be their own worst enemy, just like Repugs.

  4. heru-ur says:


    It seems to me that the Republicans need to purge the neo-cons out of their party and make it into a viable and useful political force. If they do that, then the elephant would be the perfect symbol since they need to remember what the neo-cons did to the party.

    On the other hand, if they can not mend the party then it needs to go the way of the whigs and not even exist.

    By the way, the Democrats are now attracting the “help” and attention of the neo-cons (or neo-libs?) since they have the political power at the moment. We need that donkey to be stubborn and resist the influence of the virus of neo-whateverism.

    I wager that the Democrats will top the Republicans in evil done; but do it with more style.

  5. Just a word in defense of pigs. I’ve had some of the same experiences as those rmp and cocktailhag describe — working with pigs on a relative’s farm when I was a kid. They are scary, and not only because they’re so large. They don’t like us.

    Nor should they, in my opinion. A lot of the behavior you describe — gluttony, rage, squalor, etc. — are exactly what you’d expect from a human being caged for his entire life. In fact, if you ask any prison guard, it’s exactly what you get in our more brutal prisons.

    I remember descriptions of prisoners who threw shit saved especially for the purpose at anyone who approached their cell. I also listened to a talk by a lawyer who did pro-bono work as a defense counsel for several prisoners at Guantánamo.

    One of the things which haunted me for days afterward was his description of a client trying to commit suicide six or eight times in the course of a year, once by ripping open his veins on a piece of wire which he’d laboriously pried loose from the grill covering a window, and once by running his head into the wall of his cell over and over — he only had about six feet to get up speed — until he passed out.

    Pigs in the wild are quite different. So are human beings in the embrace of a decent society. There must be a lesson in that observation somewhere, don’t you think?

    • rmp says:

      Excellent point. While I agree that pigs have gotten a bad name for unfair reasons, “it is what it is,” when it comes to using animal symbols. Part of why the Repugs and neocons are such pigs has to do with “strict father” parenting. If their parents were more emotionally secure and used a better approach to parenting, their children who are now mucking up the world, might understand empathy. These modern day pigs are so frightened that they use the word empathy, not the concept because they don’t understand it, to fear monger on Obama’s SCOTUS pick.

      As much as I detest what these pigs have done, I don’t buy into the concept of good person, evil person. We are creatures of our genes, environment and culture. Other than those who have a brain dysfunction that separates the emotional from the scientific parts of the brain, so empathy is not possible, people make good or bad decisions. A culture or community can set up a system so that mostly good decisions are made. But when treated with disrespect and treated like a pig, you act like a pig. So yes there is a very valuable lesson in how pigs in confinement and pigs in the wild behave.

      Our human male pigs weren’t even given the chance to be learn how to feel anything but anger. Those pigs are doomed as a decent contributors to society without that basic skill. It really becomes a catch 22, where the more they want to feel hurt, scared, nuturing etc., the more fear develops that they will explode if they ever let loose. So they use anger and hurting others as a means to cope. It sums up the 20th century of war and domination.

      While I’m not sure how much new information you will glean from this lecture, it is a good, intellectual summary:

      The birth of “collectivism” and interventionism
      “What we are today was created in the past. We’re quite literally living in the past. Best to know what that past really was.” William Faulkner
      The Six Months That Changed the World (lecture by John Denson at the Ludwig Von Mises Institute 1:08:57 video )

    • Karen M says:

      Thanks, William.