Want a Ride (on top of my) Cadillac(s)?

I make more money than….  Calvin Coolidge.  Put together.

Lina Lamont in Singin’ in the Rain

Back in the quaint days of 2008, it was a bit of a scandal when John McCain couldn’t remember how many houses he had.   Four years later, Mitt Romney is attempting to “connect” with Michigan voters by telling them not just that he drives American, but that, with his overlarge family and so many houses, he’s got all the big three covered, and his long-suffering wife drives a “couple of Cadillacs,” to boot.  Power to the people, Mitt.

It seems that the more privileged and out of touch the Republicans turn out to be, the less they care how they sound to ordinary Americans.  Mitt and Rick proudly parade their massive litters of children as some totem of properly practiced heterosexuality with little thought to the fact that having children at all has become an unaffordable luxury for many Americans.   Having a “special needs” child, as Rick does, is a lot easier when you made a million dollars last year, and to his mind anyway, must justify the fact that he spent about six bucks of this princely income on charity.   Romney’s five lil’ chickenhawks aren’t cheap, either, always requiring bigger houses for their expanding broods and forcing him to find them ever-fancier fake jobs.  Newt has a big and expensive family, too, especially if you count all the wives and their Tiffany’s accounts.  All of them are utterly convinced that their pampered existences are not just well-deserved, but normal.

But really, just a couple decades after St. Ronnie famously lambasted a fictitious welfare queen for driving a single Cadillac, is it smart politics to tell the working classes of the heartland that your wife drives “a couple” of them?  By that logic, why not say she’s got a baker’s dozen?  Then she’d be a real Job Creator, and Romney might stand a fighting chance in the first of his many home states.

The fact is that none of these guys knows, or more importantly, cares, what life is like for the 99% of people who only wish they could afford one kid, one car, and one wife.


  1. loretta says:

    Get in line in that processional,
    Step into that small confessional,
    There, the guy who’s got religion’ll
    Tell you if your sin’s original.
    If it is, try playin’ it safer,
    Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
    Two, four, six, eight,
    Time to transubstantiate!

    New verse:

    Modern church is so spectacular
    Saying Mass in the vernacular!
    Of the flesh, the priests will duly fast,
    ‘Cept the ones they find are pederasts,
    Now the pope’s a previous Nazi,
    Cardinal Law can only say, “Grazie!”
    Paul, James, John, Jerome,
    Get your sinecure in Rome!

  2. loretta says:

    On topic (btw, that first verse was obviously from the original, and I used it to show the second made-up verse to modernize the song) – at least Mrs. Romney drives two Caddillacs and not Mercedes-Benzi or Lexi. (the plural of Lexus?) Me, I’ll take the Benz.

    Even my father, who was no stranger to success and could probably buy my mother two Cadillacs if she was so inclined, always drives the middle-range cars like Impalas (back in the day), Pontiacs, a Taurus and a Crown Vic. I think that was his fanciest wheels.

    He said of Dubya that the guy was completely out of touch with normal people; Mitt is even worse. At least Dubya liked baseball.

  3. Ché Pasa says:

    Yeah, but did Mittens ever drive a Little Nash Rambler?


    Sorry, couldn’t help it.

    Meanwhile, just noodling here, can anybody prove those litters were sired by either Willard or Li’l Ricky? I’ve heard too many stories of what really goes on in the bedrooms of Our Betters to take any of their claims of paternity at face value.

    But that’s rude.

    • cocktailhag says:

      You should apologize. That video was more than usually annoying.
      I’m not sure I doubt paternity in this case, but I try to avoid thinking about it too graphically, for obvious reasons. I think that they’ve probably had sex at least 1.2 times per kid, and mostly the whole thing didn’t go well. It’s possible but unlikely that I’m wrong about this.

      • Ché Pasa says:

        Mea maxima culpa.

        OTOH, wouldn’t it be a hoot for all the NotRomneys to start using “Little Nash Rambler” in their anti-Willard ads? Hehehehe.

        I mean, if Santorum can use “Santorum” in his anti-Romney ad and get away with it, surely someone can build an ad around the most annoying novelty song ever…. ;-D (“Beep-beep!”)

        • cocktailhag says:

          What about “Pink Cadillac?” That has possibilities, too.

          • Ché Pasa says:

            Heh. How ’bout “Guitars Cadillacs” for the Rednex?

            It’s got a great line (I was listening while passing thru Bakersfield yesterday)

            “Ain’t no glamour in this tinsle land
            Of lost and wasted lives
            Painful scars are all that’s left of me
            I wanna thank-you (girl) for teachin’ me
            Brand new ways to be cruel…”

            Too subtle?

            There is something so deeply cruel in all the recipes for Our Salvation held out by the candidates, isn’t there?

  4. loretta says:

    Ha! Looks like my “You Ain’t Gettin’ None” strategy actually occurred at least once:


  5. dirigo says:

    This just in: Rick Santorum is not a snob; but he is an insufferable jerk and a hypocrite on education.

  6. loretta says:

    He really is a modern version of Savanarola; and I did see someone (just one blogger) refer to him as Santorarola or something like that – it’s about time someone made the connection. Here are idiots in the media admiring him for his SINCERITY. I mean, Savanarola was pretty damn serious, too.

    Now, I love me some conspiracy theories (and have a tin foil hat for every occasion), but to accuse Obama of making higher education more affordable because he wants to indoctrinate these young kids who are oh, so religious; never mind the absurdity of that idea, what about imparting that kind of POWER to Obama?

    If Obama were half as smart as he thinks he is, he’d be joking about all the power the Republicans give him – they’ll make him responsible for the weather, next.

    • cocktailhag says:

      Well, the weather was both crappy and confoundingly unpredictable here today, and I blame the President. too. If only we had a proper Confederate-American running the place, I could have worked on my tan.

  7. mikeinportc says:

    Btw, do we get to borrow the caddys occasionally, considering that we all helped pay for them? ;)

    Mitt Romney : ‘welfare queen’


  8. cocktailhag says:

    Yeah, and give it back with an overflowing ashtray and booze (or worse) splattered all over the upholstery.