BERLUSCONI THREATENS TO VACATION IN ALASKA, ADVISE PALIN, IF ITALY IS BOUNCED FROM G-8; CRITICS SEE DIVERSION FROM ITALIAN LEADER’S SERIAL SEX SCANDALS AS SUMMIT BEGINS

On the eve of the G-8 summit, set to convene Wednesday in Italy, Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi threatened to fly to Alaska to advise Sarah Palin, the state’s resigning governor, on her political future amid reports that Italy may be bounced from G-8 membership.

Critics of the prime minister’s relationships with young starlets and models immediately pounced on the announcement, charging it was a diversion from the many allegations of philandering by Italy’s leader and his promotion of beautiful if inexperienced women to political positions in his government.

An unnamed Berlusconi aide, while confirming Berlusconi’s intention to go to Alaska if things don’t work out with the G-8,  denied late Tuesday any connection between Gov. Palin and the various Italian women friends of the prime minister.

“Gov. Palin is a beauty, no doubt; the prime minister likes her.  A lot!  He thinks she has … how do you say it – a beautiful mind.  His women friends here are all beautiful too … all intellectuals …  yes!  He likes them.  He loves all women!  But that doesn’t mean there’s a connection,”  the aide said.  “Don’t make a meal of this hot air from the prime minister’s opponents.  Two plus two doesn’t equal five in this case.”

CHNN world correspondent Harlan Harrington has confirmed the visual sighting of a bright red private aircraft fueling at an obscure hangar, known informally as “SilvioAir” headquarters, on the outskirts of Rome’s Da Vinci Airport.  Harrington reports the aircraft appears large enough to seat a contingent of twenty-five, which could accommodate a small number of aides and dancers, or a medium-size harem with no more than two aides.  Harrngton noted the aircraft had several fuel tanks strapped under the wings, indicating, he said, non-stop intercontinental flight capability.

“It’s too early to tell if the prime minister plans to bolt the G-8 conference in L’Aquila,” Harrington said.  “But we’ve just established that this plane is registered to one of Berlusconi’s dummy media outlets – Bimbomanagna4 – and we think he might abandon the conference if push comes to shove.  We’re going to be watching this plane 24-7.”

A quick call today to Wasilla, Alaska by CHNN world headquarters intern Courtney Willows, failed to reach Gov. Palin, who late this afternoon remained boat-ridden and fully adorned in her state issue executive bib overall hip boots and T-shirt, somewhere on Lake Lucille.  “We’ll keep trying her cell phone,” Willows said.  “The nation sure wants to know how the governor might benefit from unsolicited advice from Mr. Berlusconi.”

Late reports prior to the convening of the G-8 meeting – which will include President Obama, and leaders from Great Britain, France, and Germany – indicate considerable annoyance with Berlusconi.  G-8 officials say planning for the summit by Italy has been dismal, with no real agenda.  They also criticized the choice of the small town of L’Aquila as the site for the meeting.

L’Aquila was devastated by an April earthquake.  Berlusconi said he thought the town would be a good place to hold the G-8, as a way to show “sobriety” to the thousands who remain homeless in the area.

G-8 leaders say the various contingents from member states will be housed in what they say are barracks; and as pressure has mounted prior to the summit, G-8 officials have been conducting secure “sherpa calls” among themselves, to compare notes.  Such tactics are rare among G-8 members, but some say it’s a last ditch effort to inject “purpose” into the meetings in Italy.

“We don’t know anything about these ‘sherpas’,” said Antonio Gustamente, another Berlusconi aide.  “It’s unusual to be sure, and everyone knows Italians don’t like to be pressured; so we are concerned.  And prepared!  We do know there are many fine sherpa delicacies in Alaska, and I can tell you the prime minister has been looking at Alaskan restaurants on-line, with an eye to a fruitful first meeting with Gov. Palin if things go south in L’Aquila.”

On another front, the juiciest one according to Berlusconi analysts, a so-called “cold war” may be breaking out among other women associated with the prime minister as the L’Aquila summit begins.

Reports over the week-end that Berlusconi had selected Mara Carfagna, a former topless model turned “equal opportunities” minister, to stand in for his estranged wife as hostess to the wives of G-8 summit leaders, has apparently created a major rift among other female ministers.

Maxim, the men’s magazine, has called Carfagna “the world’s sexiest politician,” and Berlusconi has tapped her to host First Lady Michelle Obama and other G-8 wives at major summit events, including, reportedly, an audience with Pope Benedict XVI at the Vatican.

Reports indicate Carfagna will be assisted by another member of Berlusconi’s cabinet, the education minister Maria Stella Geimini.

They are “staunch champions,” Berlusconi said last week, describing the appointments of the women, an apparent reference to the their support for him in his battles against allegations that he slept with a high-class call girl last year in his Rome apartment and that he has hosted scores of young women at his vacation villa in Sardinia, including two kissing lesbians, and scores of others, many in thongs, cavorting under outdoor showers, soaping themselves, each other, and others walking by.

However, two other women appointed to cabinet posts in the Berlusconi government say they have been snubbed and ignored as the summit approaches.

The two are Giorgia Meloni, the youth minister, and Stephania Prestigiacomo, the environment minister.

“I can’t see what the fuss is about,” Meloni said, as she faced reporters and appeared annoyed that she was asked to deny being snubbed over a G-8 posting.  Meloni said she had other G-8 duties to perform besides hosting wives of visiting ministers, walking away from rolling cameras in Rome.

“But truthfully, while I support the prime minister in all he does for the Italian peopke,” Meloni said, returning to the microphones with some irritation,  “I don’t know exactly what he can do for our country by leaving the summit and having a meeting with Gov. Palin.  She’s not an Italian woman, I can tell you that!  And the prime minister knows nothing about fly fishing or moose skinning or whatever.  So I don’t know what would be accomplished by him visiting there, unless I’m missing something.”

Prestigiacomo, the environment minister, told reporters she would be glad to do a crash study pf the migratory habits of salmon and moose if it would help the prime minister’s mission to Alaska.  “I’d like to go there.  With him,” she said.

A late call to Gov. Palin’s office in Juneau by CHNN intern Courtney Willows yielded little at press time.

“Her media aide says she doesn’t know where the governor is,” according to Willows.

“The aide cautioned that, with a pile of ethics complaints filed by opposition researchers, and pending fresh fish kill credit legislation, time was tight for a state visit by the leader of Italy just before the governor’s going away party, set for the end of this month,” Willows said.

10 Comments

  1. cocktailhag says:

    I bet that the First Dude will be more than usually uppity in that not-so-al-dente noodle shows up. What’s the Italian substitute for popcorn?

  2. dirigo says:

    Todd’s never had any competition. Until now. He has no idea what’s about to hit him: real, continental style and brio and a true lust for life, embodied (or encased) in the Mediterranean dynamo himself.

    Stand back !!!

    • cocktailhag says:

      Well, FD Todd does have the distinct advantage in this case, of not being a septugenarian. With all those legal bills, Viagra can get kind of pricey.

  3. dirigo says:

    This post is a joke; and I take full responsibility for it.

    This link, however, is not …

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/jul/06/g8-considers-expelling-italy

  4. consuela says:

    bimbomanagna4?
    nice.
    he’s pisan why the hell wouldn’t he want to be surrounded by bimbos …or worse?

    • dirigo says:

      Hi consuela,

      Yes, Sil is a man of great expectations.

      Worse? What could that be in this context?

    • The Heel says:

      Hey Consuela (is that you Frank?)
      I get a kick out of our Italian friends. I mean come on, at least they don’t take politics so seriously. In 1987, they voted Ilona Staller – a hard core porn star – into parliament. We Europeans with less colorful leaders were seriously envious for the eye candy effect this has on group shots of ordinarily boring looking people like politicians.
      Berlusconi is just a product of Italian, unintentional politics satire. Got to love them for it. After all, Americans elected a cowboy actor president as recently as 1980. I’ll go with porn stars over cowboys and day of the week….

  5. dirigo says:

    Spin the wheel back to go …

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3mkSa2qag4

  6. Meremark says:

    mama mia ‘ats a spitey fleety ball …

    - -
    but deleriously, folks, raise a toast to hagness:

    Margaret and Helen
    Best Friends for Sixty Years and Counting…

    SARAH PALIN CALLED A FAMILY MEETING AND THE RABBIT LIVED, Posted by: Helen Philpot | July 7, 2009.

    Margaret, I watched Sarah Palin’s resignation speech and all I have to say is, “What the hell was that?” My God that woman is an idiot. I have said this before, but I feel the need to say it again. Her problems did not come because the media was against her. Her problems come because every time you stick a microphone in front of her mouth a whole lot of stupid falls out.

    Things are getting tough and once again she is trying to hide behind that dysfunctional family of hers. She actually stood there and talked about how the Palins had a family meeting and everyone agreed it was time for her to step down as Governor. Well, I call bullshit. The only family meetings the Palins have usually involve someone peeing on an early pregnancy test stick.

    The time to step down would have been back when the older daughter was knocked up and needed a little privacy. The time to have stepped down would have been when the special needs child was a newborn and needed some peace and quiet at home with the family. The time to put the voters or her family first hasn’t happened with Sarah Palin yet and I doubt it ever will.

    I would cut her some slack but she used up all her slack with me while on the campaign trail. This is the woman who called the parts of the country where I don’t live more Pro-American than the part where I do live. She stirred up crowds across the country to the point that McCain campaign stops frequently resembled a lynch mob. She mixes religion and politics like I mix gin and tonic but then calls for less government involvement. Freedom from government is her battle cry until a vagina gets involved and then watch how much involvement she wants. Show me a woman who is making a private medical decision to end a pregnancy and I’ll show you a Palin screaming for more government involvement.

    She was elected to be Alaska’s Governor for four years and she bails having completed less than three. Can you imagine what she might do if she were to ever make it to the White House? All it would take is for Congress to overturn one veto and the Palins would be packing up the bear skin rugs in the Oval Office. And I bet they take all the little shampoo bottles from the private residence as well.

    Like I said a few months back – that woman is a bitch. I meant it. Really.

    Comments:
    By: gwbush on July 9, 2009 at 8:41 AM
    - – - Shut up ya old hag.
    - – -
    - – -

    PROST!