Until I learned from a family victim of yet another tragic teen black on black crime that left an elderly couple dead, I didn’t know Chicagoland TV star Garrard McClendon existed. One of three shocked, bereaving sons of the Hammond Indiana couple, it turns out McClendon has a 3 ½ hour morning show Mon-Sat on Chicagoland (cable) TV. My cable provider doesn’t include CLTV. I never thought I needed to have that Chicago Tribune owned 24-hour news outlet until a video of Garrard showed up in a Huffington Post story.

Before reading further, please watch this video where McClendon explains he has already forgiven the killers of the senseless deaths of his beloved parents that took place six days ago. Accused killers that he didn’t learn were teens until well after his forgiveness plea.

For every murder there are many victims both family and friends of the victim and of the killer who few recognize as victims. Family and friends of the killer are almost exclusively ignored by social aid groups and the media. Instead the media will focus only on the bereaving family and as investigation, arrest and trial takes place, we often hear how the bereaving victim family will not rest and find peace until the killers are sent to prison for life or death.

Our American society decided in the early days of our country that retribution and punishment/execution brought peace for all innocents involved. We have maintained that damaging stance through to today even though some of the native American tribes we gravely harmed could have taught us a better form of justice and peace.

In the clip you watched and news reports of it, McClendon said, “It’s painful, it hurts…The vision of my parents being murdered is unbelievable. . .I can’t get that vision out of my head.” McClendon said he went to the morgue to identify his parents, Milton and Ruby McClendon, after they were discovered shot to death in a forest preserve near Calumet City Monday afternoon.

He said the trip to the morgue was “the most surreal situation I’ve ever been in in my life.” Still, the CLTV host said he has “forgiven the perpetrators. Do I want them caught? Of course. … But I can’t live a productive life just in constant pain. …Yes, I want justice served.”

“My parents were my heroes… They were beautiful people. …My mother was my biggest fan. …My dad constantly bragged on all three of us (me and my two brothers). I can’t ask for any more.”

Asked how he wants his parents to be remembered, McClendon said they “need to be honored by the everyday person being a good person …making sure the average person has a quality of life that is a good quality of life.”

When he was driving to his parents’ home after being told of the murders, McClendon said he asked, “Why me?… As I got closer to home, I said… ‘Why not? I’m not special. It happens to 500 people a year in Chicago.”

So I learned from the clip and news reports that Garrard McClendon is one impressive human being who deserves to be admired and listened to. He quickly turned his bursting emotions into helping others and now that I have checked out his show’s website, I know that is how he does his show and lives his life.

This is how he is described by CLTV:

Garrard McClendon is the host of “Garrard McClendon Live” on CLTV in Chicago. Covering news, views, and controversial commentary on today’s stories, Garrard seeks to look at all side of arguments by letting viewers call the show and voice their opinions. Garrard is also a professor, writer, diversity trainer. He authored the book Ax or Ask? : The African American Guide to Better English to assist African Americans with pronunciation and a better understanding of English. Currently, he is completing his Ph.D. at Loyola University.

I’m sure many who watched the video clip or read the news reports asked themselves, “How could he do that? How could he forgive the killers so soon?

An ancient Greek proverb contains part of the answer, “Hate destroys the vessel that contains it.” The real answer seems obvious to me. It’s because of what his parents and some wise community members taught him about conflict resolution, love and forgiveness. It’s the only real answer to black on black crime and tragedy.

It’s an answer that mostly is ignored as too many black parents, and parents of every nationality, still teach their children violence is a good way to solve problems because you have to fight for your self respect. Those who survived a tough childhood environment and who have succeeded at least monetarily will say, “My parents beat me when I deserved it and look how I turned out.”

Look how our ghetto communities have turned out. Our president on down decries the gangs, death and violence in or near our schools, yet it goes on unabated despite all the pleadings by community leaders, repeated over and over, year after year.

It’s an answer that American society has to stand accountable for because of our archaic penal and “justice” system and method of teaching conflict resolution. The only real answer lies with Garrard’s wonderful parents and how he has honored their life and death.