President Obama’s abysmal attitude toward the State of Israel and his humiliating treatment of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is shocking. In the Washington Post on March 24th, Jackson Diehl wrote,

Obama has added more poison to a U.S.-Israeli relationship that already was at its lowest point in two decades. Tuesday night the White House refused to allow non-official photographers record the president’s meeting with Netanyahu; no statement was issued afterward. Netanyahu is being treated as if he were an unsavory Third World dictator, needed for strategic reasons but conspicuously held at arms length. That is something the rest of the world will be quick to notice and respond to.

Well, naturally Koch starts with a disastrously slanted piece of nonsense from the neocon Post, but he introduces it in a way that would make Sarah Palin seem thick-skinned, and nearly as smart.  Go on, Ed, you ol’ closet queen….

It is unimaginable that the President would treat any of our NATO allies, large or small, in such a degrading fashion. That there are policy differences between the U.S. and the Netanyahu government is no excuse. Allies often disagree, but remain respectful.

I’m sure that when the checks clear each month, America has been plenty respectful….  but unlike normal hookers, Israel likes to take the money and skip the blow job.  Koch, with whom no one has had noncommercial sex since 1970, ought to at least concede that point, but of course he doesn’t.  He goes on to lie about development in Israel’s supposed “capital,” (sic) of East Jerusalem and leap headlong into the usual victim-blaming, which I’ll spare you from enduring, since it’s neither new nor interesting.  But Koch’s little history lesson is perhaps the most unintentionally revealing and funny part of the whole piece.  (of what, I’ll let the reader decide…)

Prior American presidents, beginning with Truman, who recognized the State of Israel in 1948, have valued Israel as a close ally and have often come to its rescue. For example, it was Richard Nixon, during the 1973 war, who resupplied Israel with arms, making it possible for it to snatch victory from a potentially devastating defeat at the hands of a coalition of Arab countries including Egypt and Syria.

Yeah, and also ruined the economy, as it happened.  Does he really want to bring up such calamitous policies?  Well, yes.

President George W. Bush made it a point of protecting Israel at the United Nations and the Security Council, wielding the U.S. veto against the unfair actions and sanctions that Arab countries sought to impose to cripple and, if possible, destroy, the one Jewish nation in the world. Now, in my opinion, based on the actions and statements by President Obama and members of his administration, there is grave doubt among supporters of Israel that President Obama can be counted on to do what presidents before him did – protect our ally, Israel. The Arabs can lose countless wars and still come back because of their numbers. If Israel were to lose one, it would cease to exist.

After Koch unsubtly denounces Arab breeding habits, he goes on to applaud the congress for bowing much more deeply than Obama to AIPAC et al, and perhaps inadvertently lets perhaps a bit too much slip as he starts speaking in tongues that sound a bit like Dick Cheney….

But Congress does not make foreign policy. It can prevent military arms from going to Israel, but cannot send them. Congress has no role in determining U.S. policy at the U.N. Security Council. The President of the United States determines our foreign policy – nearly unilaterally – under our Constitution. So those Congressional bipartisan wishes of support, while welcome, will not protect Israel in these areas — only the President can do that. Based on his actions to date, I have serious doubts.

And, if you weren’t nauseated enough, here comes the ol’ holocaust….  Complete with a requisite Niemoller quote;  Why woudn’t ya?

In the 1930s, the Jewish community and its leadership, with few exceptions, were silent when their coreligionists were being attacked, hunted down, incarcerated and slaughtered. Ultimately 6 million Jews were exterminated in the Holocaust. The feeling in the U.S. apparently was that Jews who criticized our country’s actions and inactions that endangered the lives of other Jews would be considered disloyal, unpatriotic and displaying dual loyalty, so many Jews stayed mute. Never again should we allow that to occur. We have every right to be concerned about the fate of the only Jewish nation in the world, which, if it had existed during the 1930s and thereafter, would have given sanctuary to any Jew escaping the Nazi holocaust and taken whatever military action it could to save Jews not yet in the clutches of the Nazis. We who have learned the lessons of silence, Jews and Christians alike, must speak up now before it is too late….   Where are the peoples’ voices? Remember the words of Pastor Niemoller, so familiar that I will not recite them, except for the last line: “Then they came for me, and by that time, there was no one left to speak up.”

If it were possible to be more manipulative and dishonest, it literally escapes me how.  Finally, Koch lets go and turns into the teabagger in a yarmulke to which old age and dementia have reduced him, and concludes:

Supporters of Israel who gave their votes to candidate Obama — 78 percent of the Jewish community did — believing he would provide the same support as John McCain: this is the time to speak out and tell the President of your disappointment in him. It seems to me particularly appropriate to do so during Passover. It is one thing to disagree with certain policies of the Israeli government. It is quite another to treat Israel and its prime minister as pariahs, which only emboldens Israel’s enemies and makes the prospect of peace even more remote.

Please, Ed, stop.  You’re making Rudy look good.

I don’t know how many Hag readers have access to “Savage Love,” Seattle Stranger editor Dan Savage’s excellent nationally syndicated sex advice column, but he has a favorite acronym he uses with writers in hopelessly doomed relationships: DTMFA, which, if you haven’t guessed, stands for Dump The Mother Fucker Already.  He only says it when he means it; the partner in question is so selfish, perverted, or malevolent that the only possible solution is to, well, hit the road, Jack.  Although no butt plugs, gender confusion, poop, or cuckoldry is involved, which makes my advice kind of boring compared to Savage’s, there’s one dysfunctional relationship that I can no longer leave alone.  With apologies to Dan, here’s the evidence for a big, fat DTMFA:

Dear Dan,

I’ve been in this BDSM relationship for a long time; it started out where I was the dom, since I’m the bigger and bossier one, but over time my squeeze has jumped into the driver’s seat and hit the gas. At first it was kind of hot; I got to get my kinks for rough play without everybody finding out about it, and he got to whip whoever he wanted, which usually were the same people I wanted to whip anyway.  Trouble is, over time he started going to the clubs without me and putting the bills on my VISA anyway, and worse, he got me into situations where I repeatedly got whipped back for his shit, when I wasn’t even there to enjoy it in the first place.  Now, I’m deep in hock and and 86′ed from all of our favorite haunts, and he’s still in the clubs a’whuppin,’ while I’m not getting so much as a reach-around.  Finally, I said something… not anything too bad, mind you, but just a little reminder of who’s paying the bills and dealing with all the fallout of his fun, and he totally went ballistic, and sent all his “friends” out to trash me.  What should I do?  If I dump him, I might get some of my old friends back, but the backlash from his buddies that always hated me anyway will rip me a new one, perhaps literally.  Your advice would be appreciated, because now if I want to keep the peace I’m going to have to let him do some stuff that even I’m uncomfortable with.

Offered Bitch All My Ass and Couldn’t Orgasm

Dear OBAMA and CO:

DTMFA.

Unfortunately, international relations are, forgive the pun, stickier than sex columns and the “relations” of Obama and co. vis a vis Israel are necessarily more complicated.  I understand that having Israel around makes kicking Habib ass look, to some people, almost virtuous, and without them, Iran/Contra, the Iraq war(s), and 9/11 might never have happened, but would we really call any of those things good?  In short, the US/Israel “special relationship,” endlessly touted by the political right, Sarah Palin, and the Senator from Tel Aviv Joe Lieberman, is a lose/lose for both parties involved, but they just can’t quit each other, because they have their darkest traits in common: militarism, land stolen from indigenous people, and a bizarre desire to control everything in their path by force, since they are, in their own minds, the bestest ever.  Both use slaughter and human rights abuses against their chosen victims for political gain at home, and neither would be so successful at such a worthy endeavor without the other.  I don’t claim to have the influence that Savage Love has, but if this little missive from one of the Jewish lobby’s evidently less diplomatic spokesmen doesn’t persuade the Obama Administration to DTMFA, I honestly don’t know what will. (h/t HuffPo)

When it comes to tyrants who have dismantled their nation’s democracies and thrown their political opponents in jail, like Hugo Chavez, President Obama hugs them with both arms. And if you’re a Middle East dictator, like King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, who brutally oppresses women and won’t even let them drive a car, for goodness sake, the President of the United States will bow down to you (you get the same treatment if you’re the Emperor of Japan). But if you’re the democratically elected Prime Minister of the Middle East’s only fully functioning democracy, and America’s most reliable ally, the President will sic his Secretary of State on you if you don’t follow everything he demands. Who does President Obama think the Israeli Prime Minister is? His poodle? (Would that he were; poodles, at least, can be put to sleep).

This is scandalous behavior, and over a non-incident. (1600 housing units?  That sort of thing probably won’t happen again in these parts as long as I live, and even in boom times would have been, well, newsy.)

Jews should be allowed to live anywhere in Jerusalem, as should Arabs. And had the Israeli government announced that it was preventing Arabs from living in any part of the Holy City that they choose, I would have written an equally scathing column criticizing that xenophobic decision. (That’s so flat out delusional that I’m literally and uncharacteristically at a loss for words. Did Karl Rove write it?)

During Obama’s Presidential campaign, I was asked to serve as a national co-chair of Rabbis for Obama. I turned it down. First of all, I was amazed that the candidate wasn’t going to be on any calls with the Rabbis who signed up, with the campaign saying he was too busy. Ah, so you want to just use the Rabbis and not show them basic courtesy and respect? Second and more importantly, I had a strong inkling that President Obama would treat Israel this way. Bullying them, pushing them, pressuring them, into peace deals that compromised their security. (Never trust a clairvoyant; especially one who happens to be an asshole.)

And make no mistake about it. Splitting Jerusalem, as it had been split up until its unification during the Six-Day War, is the single gravest risk to Israel’s security. Just imagine a Palestinian capitol, with Palestinian forces only miles away from Israel’s Knesset and government buildings. The Palestinian Authority has very little control over its own security forces and especially its people, with huge numbers supporting Hamas over the PA. Would Israel really sign a suicide pact to put all the organs of its government within easy striking range of Palestinian rockets? Haven’t we seen this happen already with Sderot and Gaza? Can anyone even imagine the consequences if Sderot became Jerusalem? (More ridiculous pants-wetting, to feebly justify an international crime.  The entire world condemns the 1967 land grab this bloodthirsty nebbish calls “unification.”)

But all this is beside the point. Israel is not one of America’s 50 states. (Tell Joe Lieberman that; he and Connecticut would be duly surprised.)  It’s a sovereign nation. For President Obama and Secretary Clinton to treat Israel with such disdain, and handle its elected officials as if they are naughty school children, is disgusting. I would like to see a single other example of an international leader subjected to the kind of public berating that has taken place between Hilary and Bibi over the past few days. It’s beneath the office of the President and the Secretary of State.( You tell ‘em.)

And please don’t give me the tired arguments about how much America does for Israel. America gives Egypt billions in aid each year. Yet, Obama showed Hosni Mubarak extensive courtesy when he visited Cairo, even though Mubarak is a dictator who has for decades rejected America’s call for democratic reforms.

I could print this execrable and lengthy screed by Rabbi (!) Schmuley Boteach in its entirety, but will refrain from doing so because the DTMFA buzzer went off before the first paragraph was over.  Your country and mine thank you, Rabbi Boteach, for finally giving us something even the hag, and if he were here, Dan Savage, couldn’t overlook.  Time to hit Craigslist, Israel, you’ll have to get your kinks elsewhere.

UPDATE: The right’s former darling, Gen. David Petraeus, has really stepped in something lately, first with his dismissal of the arguments against DADT, but worse, with the Israel lobby, when he had the temerity to call the sky blue; i.e., that Israel’s apartheid policies aren’t so great for American security.  To wit:

The assumptions Gen. Petraeus presented to the Senate Armed Services Committee wrongly attribute “insufficient progress” in the Israeli-Palestinian peace process and “a perception of U.S. favoritism for Israel” as significantly impeding the U.S. military mission in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan and in dealing with the Iranian influences in the region. It is that much more of a concern to hear this coming from such a great American patriot and hero.

The General’s assertions lead to the illusory conclusion that if only there was a resolution of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, the U.S. could successfully complete its mission in the region.

Gen. Petraeus has simply erred in linking the challenges faced by the U.S. and coalition forces in the region to a solution of the Israeli-Arab conflict, and blaming extremist activities on the absence of peace and the perceived U.S. favoritism for Israel. This linkage is dangerous and counterproductive.

Whenever the Israeli-Arab conflict is made a focal point, Israel comes to be seen as the problem. If only Israel would stop settlements, if only Israel would talk with Hamas, if only Israel would make concessions on refugees, if only it would share Jerusalem, everything in the region would then fall into line.

DTMFA!

Glenn Greenwald has a great piece up today about how religious nut Mike Huckabee met up with some other religious nuts in Israel, to, well, be nuts and religious together.  As my mother used to say, sweetly and surreptitiously, about especially striking unattractive couples, “It’s nice they found each other.”

Each day I’m astonished at the unnatural, eyeball-searing couplings occurring with nauseating frequency on the right; health care billionaires and Medicare-dependent retirees, preachers and whoremongers, and eliminationist Christians and “unperfected” Jews.  Nobody has suffered from beer goggles more astonishingly than these Republicans, where if lions didn’t routinely lay down with lambs, the lambs would pretty much  never get laid, and not just because of their obesity, advanced age, and disturbing personality traits.

Cloaked in the usual deceptive and focused-grouped talking points that are whispered like pillow talk to the victims, er, dates, by charlatans like Huckabee, suddenly Israel’s decision to move more crazy people in yarmulkes and beards into Palestinian land to push out the Palestinians has become nothing more than a matter of not “telling Israelis where they should live”.  (Nice hook…  works into the property rights angle of which the Right is so enamored, except for the inconvenient fact that it’s not their property, a fact which remains unchanged despite that even though they’re authoritarian, religious, crazy, and as such quite appealing to loons like Mike Huckabee, the Israeli religious right’s claim to a divine right to things that aren’t theirs is laughable on its face, according to the UN and almost all normal nations.

Along comes that uppity Schvartze, Obama, and the next thing you know some quiet peeps are being gingerly made made about, well, illegal colonization and subjugation of native populations, and Huckabee’s running around committing what would have been considered irredeemable treason back in the Bush Era… bashing “America” on “foreign soil.”  Who among us could ever have predicted this?  That’s a trick question, of course.

Now, experience has shown me that Jews, like the rest of us, have their flaws, but stupidity is not among them, and allying themselves with the “Left Behind” crowd, seems uncharacteristically retarded, or just deeply cynical: religious crazies of whatever stripe the world over have more in common with each other than they do with normal people, and Heck, lots of money is to be made while everybody fights, bloodily, expensively and interminably, for their own personal spaghetti monster.  Ridiculous arguments are, inexplicably, so much more winnable when one simply says, “God Said so.”  Cut to commercial.

The fact that Obama seems to be so deserving of “off soil” of criticism from nuts like Huckabee and the Israeli Right is of course overblown and manufactured, but it is one of the few bright spots in an ostensibly liberal  Presidency that so far has offered thinking Americans precious few of them.  When crazy Israelis are calling Obama both a schvartze and an Arab, proudly and simutaneously, while Huckabee feels the overwhelming need to head on over and buck them up, it’s not the worst thing; however mildly, Obama is finally pissing off the right people.  For a Change.