Cocktailhag, the blog » Mark Sanford http://www.cocktailhag.com/blog She drinks, you know. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:54:03 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 you can say that again…. http://www.cocktailhag.com/blog/ http://www.cocktailhag.com/blog/#comments Sun, 28 Jun 2009 23:58:35 +0000 cocktailhag http://www.cocktailhag.com/blog/?p=1253 Turns out that Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, a Republican, natch, since he was on TV, found Gov. Mark “tan lines” Sanford’s recent unpleasantness “sad and troubling and hypocritical.”  To which the Hag would add “hilarious and predictable and typical,” if I didn’t know how to string words together grammatically.  Pawlenty’s complaint? That “the words and actions don’t ring true.”  Not “be” true, of course, since we’re talking about Republicans; he’s concerned about fooling less people.  Ah, I see.

]]> http://www.cocktailhag.com/blog/feed/ 0 I was abroad that day http://www.cocktailhag.com/blog/thrownshoes/i-was-abroad-that-day/ http://www.cocktailhag.com/blog/thrownshoes/i-was-abroad-that-day/#comments Thu, 25 Jun 2009 00:59:53 +0000 cocktailhag http://www.cocktailhag.com/blog/?p=1199 The mercurial cracker governor from a tooth-deprived armpit of the Old Confederacy, Mark Sanford, has up and confessed his affair with a south-of the-border tamale, whose hotness turned out to be more important than Father’s Day with his four (!) sons, the names of whom were fortunately included in his prepared statement on the subject, as well as that of his nominal wife.  Boy, does that tooth whitening and staff screening pay off, especially when it comes time to get laid…  Promise Keepers, indeed.

Just when your own conspicuously benighted state, which has already been confirmed to be stupid enough to elect you, has nevertheless basically declared you, publicly and decisively, to be a loon and a charlatan over your dimwitted, clearly cynical and nationally-aimed faux objections to the federal stimulus, you suddenly find it’s past time to get yourself some quality siesta time with your current but rather inconveniently located mistress.  And then you absentmindedly forget to coordinate the usual lies with your wife.  Oops.  Well, good for you; it might get your famously scolding and judgemental mind off other peoples affairs for maybe fifteen minutes or so. Clandestine southern hemisphere blow jobs are good that way.  One of the many, ever-changing lies told by Sanford’s clearly inept and similarly addled staff to cover up this unfortunate sojourn, which rapidly went from a possible naked hike to more probable naked other stuff, was that he was, and I couldn’t make this up if I tried, “clearing his mind” to “write something.”  I’ve never heard it called that before, so you have to hand it to the guy and his minions for being more creative that his fellow Republicans generally are.  Frank Luntz was clearly not involved.

How about a resignation letter, you lying, hypocritical, and sanctimonious bag of , well, “dog mess?”

That would really “clear your mind.”  And ours.

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