And They Lived Happily Ever After

Well, the FCIC, a bipartisan commission tasked with analyzing the Recent Unpleasantness in the banking area, has released its report today, or rather, three of them.  Being bipartisan and all, the commission included Republicans, so it was unable to agree on such controversial ideas as, say, the wetness of water, much less any possible human agency behind a bunch of rich people fleecing taxpayers out of a trillion or so.  Just as John Boehner refuses to believe those degenerate hippies at the CBO when their bland, accurate, accounting makes him look like a lying sleazebag, the Republican members of the FCIC refuse to believe that, among other things, Alan Greenspan doesn’t shit ice cream.

The majority report, not exactly going out on a limb here, notes that Greenspan’s silly Randian notion that banks and bankers would never be so irresponsible as to try and rip anyone off because they were such good hosts or something, sort of came a crapper in the final analysis.  Nay, the Righties said, it was because some commie law from the 70′s forced banks to lend to darkies.  The Democrats laid equal blame on banks and regulators, the Righties blamed Fannie, Freddie, and overreaching government.  I could go on, but is it really necessary?  In short, as with all pressing national problems, the Democrats attempt, lamely, to understand problems in hopes of preventing them in the future, while the righties just don’t give a damn about anything except their political hobby horses, even when they routinely ride them off cliffs.  Preserving the lies is all that matters.

Better yet, in a delightful new tradition of Tea Party America heralded by Michele Bachmann’s cuckoo rantings on Tuesday evening, there weren’t just one, but two Republican rebuttals, the first one being too “liberal,” and the other presumably blaming the whole thing on Al Gore’s weight and Frances Fox Piven, not necessarily in that order.  Once you’ve made reality the enemy, why not go whole hog?

Kidding aside, rewriting history in this case is of crucial importance as the right moves forward with its longtime goal of concentrating wealth and power in fewer, less accountable hands; the results of their previous efforts are staring America in the face as it grapples with unprecedented inequality, double-digit unemployment, and an establishment singing in angelic harmony about “austerity,” at least for other people.  But defending the banksters so fulsomely?  Is this smart, when bailed-out banksters are hip-deep in all the coke and hookers money can buy while they’re turning ordinary Americans out of their homes every day?  Far better to take their money, “fail” to re-regulate them, and write them a sternly worded letter, as the Democrats not unexpectedly did.  But for Republicans that sort of thing is soooo last century; better to believe in fairy tales and Citizens (!) United. That’s the ticket.


  1. dirigo says:

    One thing Palin overlooked in her reaction to Obama’s Sputnik moment, during her analysis of the Soviet Victory In Space at the expense of America, is that Piven was one of the first cosmonauts. She beat out Gore for the seat assigned at the time to an up and coming disgruntled American. An academic seemed like the perfect choice, and Piven was more than a hundred pounds lighter than Gore at the time. Even so, he was buff then, as Tipper can attest. Piven, who had the hots for Gore too, went on, as Palin and Beck never tire of telling us, to become a Soviet mole in several of our “liberal” educational institutions. Along the way, she has had the temerity to encourage unemployed people to protest their condition. Can you imagine?

    • cocktailhag says:

      Yeah, and you almost forgot about when Dan Rather aborted Saddam Hussein’s love child in a late-term abortion performed by George Tiller.

      • dirigo says:

        Right, and as Representative Bachmann has so kindly related, the Tiller intervention occurred after the Founding Foreskins began their generations-long effort to abolish slavery in the good ol’ USA!

        Hey … heyy … heyyyy !!! – as Fat Albert used to say.

        See how simple it is !

        • dirigo says:

          Uhmm … this just popped into my head, feeble as it is: have you noticed how Mike Pence sort of resembles a shape-shifter out of Star Trek Deep Space Nine?

          Just thought I’d mention it, before he changes his mind about NOT running for president.

          You don’t go, guy! Stay in Muncie, or wherever you’re from.

        • cocktailhag says:

          Why is it that the stupid live so much longer? Or at all, for that matter. I’d like to get some pre and post FOX statistics.

  2. retzilian says:

    Palin pronounced it “SpuDnick” as if it had a D in it. Never mind her public out-loud use of the WTF acronym, which shows her to be a cyber idiot on top of a real life idiot.

    • cocktailhag says:

      I think it was a dogwhistle for Iowa, which she got mixed up with Idaho, which likes spuds or something. Hard to tell, though… cuckoo people are notoriously inscrutable. Really dumb cuckoo people are even worse.

  3. dirigo says:

    Bachmann to vets: Drop dead.

    • cocktailhag says:

      Not so surprising, really; you’re all just bunch of professional freeloaders, unlike her, with her rather large farm subsidies. She’s a piece of work, isn’t she?

      • dirigo says:

        Yeah, people who don’t live in flyover country don’t know what a scam the family farm, and “set-asides,” and the leasing of “mineral rights” really is.

        Ask Boone.

        The write-off on cattle killed by snowstorms could finance a bungalow in the Bahamas.

        It’s the agriculture progrums. Good fer the farmer, good fer food & fibre, good fer ‘murricans. Commodities analysts are suggesting the era of cheap food is ending. Time for Bachmann to grab a hoe and get to work on her back forty.

        “Yo, Michele! The hoe!”


  4. mikeinportc says:

    “Why is it that the stupid live so much longer? Or at all, for that matter?”

    “Keep it stupid, Simple.” Or something to that effect.
    Everything looks better if you don’t concern yourself with such details as……., what’s the word,……. uh, “reality”, or something close to it. ;)
    Less stress = longer life. (Usually)

    “…just don’t give a damn about anything except their political hobby horses, even when they routinely ride them off cliffs….”

    Saw one yesterday . Someone ( Seen him before, just never bothered noticing his name.) doing his turn as FOX’s token young black Republican, laid all the recent uppitiness in Egypt at the feet of “The Nanny State”. The ungrateful miscreants have been suckling at the government teat so long, that now that it’s drying up, the whiny , spoiled, DFHs are revolting( & are revolting ) in response. That‘s why we can’t have a nanny state here . (Excuse me if I didn’t get it exactly, or as coded, as delivered – I was laughing too hard – saw it coming about three words into his spiel*.) Of course, Neil Cavuto just nodded, and moved on.

    * To give him slight benefit of doubt, the Syrian government has seen it coming, curbed their own ( short-term)greed somewhat, and upped teat-flow to the rabble, awhile ago.