And They Lived Happily Ever After
Well, the FCIC, a bipartisan commission tasked with analyzing the Recent Unpleasantness in the banking area, has released its report today, or rather, three of them. Being bipartisan and all, the commission included Republicans, so it was unable to agree on such controversial ideas as, say, the wetness of water, much less any possible human agency behind a bunch of rich people fleecing taxpayers out of a trillion or so. Just as John Boehner refuses to believe those degenerate hippies at the CBO when their bland, accurate, accounting makes him look like a lying sleazebag, the Republican members of the FCIC refuse to believe that, among other things, Alan Greenspan doesn’t shit ice cream.
The majority report, not exactly going out on a limb here, notes that Greenspan’s silly Randian notion that banks and bankers would never be so irresponsible as to try and rip anyone off because they were such good hosts or something, sort of came a crapper in the final analysis. Nay, the Righties said, it was because some commie law from the 70′s forced banks to lend to darkies. The Democrats laid equal blame on banks and regulators, the Righties blamed Fannie, Freddie, and overreaching government. I could go on, but is it really necessary? In short, as with all pressing national problems, the Democrats attempt, lamely, to understand problems in hopes of preventing them in the future, while the righties just don’t give a damn about anything except their political hobby horses, even when they routinely ride them off cliffs. Preserving the lies is all that matters.
Better yet, in a delightful new tradition of Tea Party America heralded by Michele Bachmann’s cuckoo rantings on Tuesday evening, there weren’t just one, but two Republican rebuttals, the first one being too “liberal,” and the other presumably blaming the whole thing on Al Gore’s weight and Frances Fox Piven, not necessarily in that order. Once you’ve made reality the enemy, why not go whole hog?
Kidding aside, rewriting history in this case is of crucial importance as the right moves forward with its longtime goal of concentrating wealth and power in fewer, less accountable hands; the results of their previous efforts are staring America in the face as it grapples with unprecedented inequality, double-digit unemployment, and an establishment singing in angelic harmony about “austerity,” at least for other people. But defending the banksters so fulsomely? Is this smart, when bailed-out banksters are hip-deep in all the coke and hookers money can buy while they’re turning ordinary Americans out of their homes every day? Far better to take their money, “fail” to re-regulate them, and write them a sternly worded letter, as the Democrats not unexpectedly did. But for Republicans that sort of thing is soooo last century; better to believe in fairy tales and Citizens (!) United. That’s the ticket.