Dances With Roves

In a stunningly unsurprising development, NBC’s “Meet the Press,” formerly the Sunday morning leader, has reached a 20-year nadir in its ratings.  Thus, people who are too lazy on a hungover morning to drink poison or gouge out their eyeballs prefer George fucking Stefanopoulous over Karl Rove’s B-girl, David Gregory, and his laughably execrable show.

Of course, the fault with being shown, statistically, to be the slowest kid at the Special Olympics could lie elsewhere; after all, no one willingly pops on the boob tube to see what George Will, John McCain, and/or Lindsey Graham are wearing today.  But I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Gregory’s unique combination of muppety looks, doe-eyed credulity, scornful Village Seriousness, and jaw-dropping stupidity have something to do with it.   From the “news” network that brought you Jessica Savitch, along comes someone even dumber, only lacking her looks, charm, and youth.  And unlike Savitch, who was quickly relegated to reading 32-second news “updates” like the one above when it was discovered that she suffered from a Sarah Palin-like unwillingness to learn her job as a reporter, Gregory has failed upward, repeatedly.

Tough journalist that he is, Gregory blushed like a smitten schoolgirl when George Bush named the gangly know-nothing from NBC “Stretch,” and when Bush sneeringly derided him as some fancy-pants “intercontinental” because he spoke French, in France, to the French President, in a room full of other French people, Gregory’s tragically unrequited ardor for the codpiece-clad Decider only burned brighter.  Take that, Dan Rather.

If there were any such thing as a Free Market in TV journalism, Gregory would be gone, yesterday.  If there were anything such as journalism in the Free Market, he would have never had a job in the first place.   But in the peculiar, anti-meritocratic world of Village gasbaggery, Gregory will be blinking, Bambi-like, into the red light until not one viewer is left watching, and America will be that much dumber because of it.  Poor Jessica Savitch was just born a few years too early.


  1. The Hag at his best!

    The Sunday morning talk show circus well summed up in 4 paragragaphs.

    Thanks. I needed this.

    • cocktailhag says:

      You’re more than welcome. I’d just finished up for FDL, and couldn’t resist pounding out a little something when I saw the ratings.

  2. avelna says:

    Well it fits, I guess. After all Bush is still the most unpopular president to have come along in a long while – even after having been out of office for 3-1/2 years, so D. Gregory’s unpopularity follows right along. Gregory actually enjoys being someones bitch and it shows in the ratings.