Dumb As A Post, But Cute

When you enter the alternative universe of Politico, it’s always a good idea to steel yourself against infantile false equivalencies, stunningly obvious conventional wisdom, and drearily repeated Republican talking points.  That way, you’ll suffer through far fewer poorly written articles that, like watching Fox News, will make you dumber than if you’d spent your time lighting farts.

Naturally, I go to Politico a lot, because, every once in a while I’ll happen upon something so transcendently idiotic that it makes the whole trip worthwhile.  Just now, the top story announces, without a race of irony, that Sarah Palin is Newt Gingrich’s “secret weapon.”  Given that Newt is plummeting in the Florida polls and all the Republican moneymen are openly after his scalp, one wonders what, exactly, Palin is going to do about his flagging political fortunes.  Shoot a moose?  Better yet, the “writer” quotes ol’ Caribou Barbie at some length, effectively refuting the whole premise of her story by reminding readers that the woman is, well, dumb as a post:

In her latest appearance, Palin stated: “Look at Newt Gingrich, what’s going on with him via the establishment’s attacks,” she said, though the original question was about Ron Paul. “They’re trying to crucify this man and rewrite history and rewrite what it is that he has stood for all these years.”

Palin then called conservative writer Peggy Noonan “hypocritical” for recently calling Gingrich an “angry little attack muffin.”

“They maybe subscribe such characterization of Newt via words like that, but they don’t subscribe those to say Mitt Romney when he or his surrogates do the same thing,” she said. “That’s that typical hypocrisy stuff in the media that I’ve lived with over a couple of decades in the political arena. So I’m used to it.”

“But in order to help educate the rest of the American public, I’ll articulate that it is hypocritical of the media to subscribe to one candidate and not another, that kind of angry attack muffin verbiage to one and not the other.”

News Flash:  Palin has picked up some new words, and has chosen to start using them, repeatedly, without grasping their, uh, meaning.  “Subscribe.”  “Via.”  “Articulate.”  “Verbiage.”  As Paul Krugman said about Gingrich, “He’s a stupid person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like.”  Palin, on the other hand, is what four-year old sounds like when they’ve learned a new word.  Some secret weapon: idiotic word salad blurted out by an addlepated harridan way past her political, if not Fox, sell date.

Romney must be quaking in his Gucci loafers.











  1. nswfm says:

    She’s such a dipshit, but your writing captures her perfectly.

    • cocktailhag says:

      Actually, Katie Couric’s interviews do an even better job; it was so hard to choose just one. No wonder the funniest parts of Tina Fey’s impressions were where she just read Palin transcripts verbatim.

      • nswfm says:

        As The Immoral Minority blog says, everything Palin touches turns to shit–she endorses Gingrich, and he drops like a deflated pig balloon….

        • cocktailhag says:

          You just reminded me I’ve got to read that blog more often; I flagged a little when Palin slipped into irrelevance. Politico’s story does seem a bit, well, ill-timed.

          • nswfm says:

            A comment from The Immoral Minority:
            The Palin Factor. Some D.C.-based establishment types were preparing to reconcile themselves to former House Speaker Gingrich, if not outright endorse him, before or after the South Carolina primary last week. But according to one such insider, who asked not to be identified because of her prominent corporate lobbying role, Gingrich fatally said on Jan. 18 — three days before the primary — that he would offer former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin a “major role in the next administration if I’m president.” That one statement scared the accept-Newt, Republican-establishment types. “That sure did it for me, and I think for a lot of other people in town,” the lobbyist said.”

            5:45 PM

          • cocktailhag says:

            Can you believe how transparent they are these days?
            It was so recently that Sarah was, according to all present, the Great White Hope. Now she’s just in the way. No loyalty among thieves.

  2. dirigo says:

    It is essential, should a Republican be elected president this year, that Sarah Palin be appointed secretary of education. It will be impossible to abolish the department because she will be the new administration’s indispensable political appointee.

    Plus, think of the occasional, stunning lectures and really frequent media appearances she will offer the nation.

    We will all be uplifted. Of that, I have no doubt.

  3. mikeinportc says:

    I just got through adjusting to Newt’s possible nomination by subscribing to a more positive attitude, via the potential lack of certain usual verbiage , which thought, I immediately articulated to the personages within earshot . : )~

    That is, we might not have to listen to all the usual bs about “values”, and the outsider-going-to-DC-to-reform-it song-and-dance. I know it’s too much to expect a hypocrisy-free zone, but at least there’d be a chance it would be minimal on those topics. It also held out the possibilty that it would be more about policy than personality . What little Newt has is less than pleasant, so seems an area best avoided by his partisans.

    Alas, he’s tanking , so have to readjust. Or up the alcohol budget. ; )

    • cocktailhag says:

      Hehehehe…. Republicans can only run on fake issues; the real ones are too difficult, and all their ideas will make things worse.
      Thus we have “apologizing for America” and bases on the moon.
      It’s going to be a boozy 2012.

  4. Ché Pasa says:

    This person is still getting airtime and ink? Why?

    Newt is a fool of the first water if he thinks he’s going to get anywhere with her constantly humping his leg… Of course it being Newt and all, he prolly likes it.



  5. michlib says:

    The most blissfully ignorant person on the planet. I’m still recovering from when she opined, straight faced and without the assinine wink, about the peril of not properly vetting candidates for high office and the calamity that could ensue (!). I am reminded of the quote attributed to former Harvard president Derek Bok – ” If you think education is expensive, try ignorance “. Buh bye Barbie.

    • cocktailhag says:

      My favorite Sarah moment was when she couldn’t think of a magazine or newspaper she read, and then got all surly about it.
      So far, ignorance has worked out pretty well for her.

      • michlib says:

        And lord knows – she HAS matriculated ( careful Sarah – the evangelicans could mistake that for something else ) at many geographically dispersed and not too picky colleges and cosmetology ( probably thought she was joining the space program ) schools.

        • cocktailhag says:

          Yeah, but she hated Hawaii because the place was overrun with Chinamen.

          • rukidding says:

            Heh… sadly, true, and THAT was before the Grifter Media Whore found out that the dreaded uppity Kenyan Negro Shochulist was matriculated in the Punahou School for Wayward Juvenile Delinquents.

  6. rukidding says:

    Personally I’ve never believed that Newters was really truly, you know, serious about running for Pres. Newters has forgotten way more about Grifting, than Snowbilly Snooki will ever be able to “retain” in what passes for a “brain” in her dumb head.

    I always figured that Newticles was told to “run” by the PTB, in exchange for which he’ll make bag$ and pot$ and stack$ of buckeroo$$, along with, probably, being “assisted” schtup as many young gullible blondes as possible (ew, ick). In other word$: it’s a great grift for GingRICH.

    When I saw that Bible Spice was now “endorsing” the Newtron Bomb, it seemed to bear out my hypothesis. Except for that ever diminishing band of slavering fans of the Tundra Terminatrix, it appears to be the kiss of death to get an “endorsement” from the Ice Queen. Hence, Palin’s done a “good job” to ensure that Willard gets the nomination, as was the plan all along. Having GingRICH “run,” just made the Kabuki Show entitled “Republican Primary,” seem, uh, more real for the rubes, who still believe in Santa Claus and that their vote “counts.”