The Dangedest Thing
Looking out at the world from CHNN World Headquarters.
As many of you are perfectly capable of discerning, the Hag is no computer genius. Each day new mysteries appear before me, garnered though the toobz’s mysterious portals like Google Analytics, and even the info in the site administration section of this blog. How, indeed, is it that the Hag has 16 subscribers in Russia? Was my crazy grandmother, Etta, right when she called opinions like mine “a commie plot?” Are former commies, disgruntled with the crony capitalism with which they’ve now been saddled, turning to the Hag for a taste of the old time (albeit godless) religion? One wonders. It does warm my heart, however, even more than the booze, that whenever I hit “publish,” sixteen Russians’ computers beep. But questions still abound. Why, for instance, do Latvians spend four times the amount of time here that Spaniards do? Why do only half as many Brits as Netherlanders show up in a month, despite the language barrier? I would love to hear from some of these people who might enlighten me.
About 2400 people, accounting for almost 7000 pageviews, popped into the Hag last month, an increase of something over 13% from last month, but the data is so convoluted that I have no idea whether it was something Dirigo, RMP, or I wrote, or just the weather. (I don’t rule out Glenn Greenwald’s very un-Greenwaldian vacation, nor Heru’s rather fulsome praise at Unclaimed Territory at Salon, but a pretty big spike occurred this week…. Why?) Facts, as Ronald Reagan taught us, are stupid things, and when they’re arcane blog statistics the stupidity rubs off rather easily, and I’ve gotten it all over me. (Thank heaven for pancake and caftans…)
While I’ve always been a bit suspicious of the practice of lurking, remembering my mother’s immortal words. “Is someone lurking?” (This in reference to someone not of the family on the premises but unannounced and not in plain sight; usually employed before she launched into a potentially unseemly tirade of some sort….) But just this once, I’d like to make this plea to my lurkers, be they Russian or otherwise… Leave a comment. Engage. I love accents, you know, and I would like to know what brings y’all to the Hag, so I, Dirigo, RMP, and others who shall remain anonymous can keep you checking in. And I really feel that we should be able to get Spaniards to read as much as Latvians.
Here at CHNN, we want to know what our readers are thinking.
Or, in a rebuttal to Ronnie: “facts are sacred,” as The Guardian, in its online comment page says, quoting C.P. Scott.
Honing in on facts takes a lot of focus and concentration while wading through tons of bullshit and intentionally generated fog.
After all that, some truth may emerge.
Interesting numbers, Mr. Hag. You may have a tiger by the tail.
私は私が深刻な手紙の執筆からの壊れ目を必要とするのでここにいる。 また、私は夫人がhighstyleの靴のより多くの裸体像の方に方法および現在の傾向について言わなければならないものをCocktailhag読むことを愛する。 、Cocktailhag氏そう本当にありがとう。
Or perhaps a bear.
A grizzly, who likes to swat salmon out of the river.
I witnessed that once, driving through northern British Columbia; right by the side of the road, a bear was scooping fish out of the river, munching happily without so much as tartar sauce.
Imagine one big fat fish as a grinning Dick Armey, getting his just desserts.
A bear of a shooter …
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1207451/Man-spent-TWO-years-waiting-river-bank-finally-snaps-leaping-salmon.html?ITO=1490
Atrios often quotes Reagan accidentally saying, “Facts are stupid things . . .”
Reagan was misquoting John Adams, who said, “Facts are stubborn things . . .”
Reagan didn’t know it, of course, but he was echoing the great teacher, Louis Agassiz:
http://philosophy.lander.edu/intro/introbook2.1/x426.html
Latvians are always searching for new cocktails, so maybe that’s how they found you.
Mixed drinks are a necessity because their national booze is, if undiluted, not much different from 10w40.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riga_Black_Balsam
That’s rather flattering. All this time I thought it might be slow downloads.
One word: Worldclass.
Aw, shucks. Standing astride Tom Friedman’s flat world like a colossus, drink in one hand and a More 120 in the other. That’s heady.
Hag,
Well, I see no reason to disbelieve that several Salon/Greenwald readers from Russia might have peeked in here last month. On the other hand, with people surfing the net using proxies and VPN services that can make it appear like you are in a different country, it may be almost anyone.
As I told the crowd at UT; you write better than Glenn. He does great research and is very capable politically, but he is not in the same class as you in the writing department. (no shame in that, neither am I or most people)
As a small point; Glenn often gets all “bitchy” in some replies; I think you could give him some “classy” lessons. (this in spite of the fact it has not worked with me)
On a completely unrelated matter; what the hell did William mean that I have no sense of humor? Most everyone I know in 3D thinks I am very funny. Perhaps it is the topics covered at UT that gives the impression.
Hey! That is another thing. You don’t make every post here “world shakingly important” and I appreciate that. Of course even I have complaints. What is with the use of the word “fulsome”? I don’t know if you went for a word that means “copious” or you were dreaming of putting me in that prison.
Ah well, I guess I’ll never really know. And why not? Most don’t even know I often write in stream of consciousness mode; some don’t even know I am conscious. Most don’t know I would write more, but I often get the “giggles” while doing it. (take take WT!)
I don’t remember WT saying you have no sense of humor, but my mind is anything but a steel trap. I think I just pulled “fulsome” out of the air; I guess the Miss Manners in me appreciated the compliment, but not that it was at Glenn’s expense. The beauty, or lack thereof, of writing is in the eye of the beholder; Glenn plows through, and commits to words, so much material at such speed that I don’t think he really tries to be a stylist. I find him to be at his best in comments; you say bitchy, but I don’t see it that way. (Well, once in a while…)
Ah, Monday…. Back to the salt mines.
For the record, Heru is right. I did say it, but not here. I view Cocktailhag, the Blog as sanctuary, a place of peace, like those famous watering holes in the parched summer Serengeti, where wildebeests drink — warily — next to lions, and the lions affect not to notice.
I haven’t violated that peace, I hope, and don’t plan to do so. I credit the proprietor’s ecumenical outlook and impeccable manners, as well as her writing skill for my forbearance — it certainly has nothing to do with my finding religion.
Come to think of it, maybe that peace is what bring the Russians here. If so, you’re not the only one, Hag, who would welcome them.
I appreciate that, WT; I also like that if I write something off the wall, like the Bank of California piece, at least you will show up in comments. My not-so-secret admirer of many years, the Doctor, was over this weekend, and pointed to the lack of comments as evidence that the entry was, well, not up to snuff. I tried to explain that you, Karen, and Pedinska liked the architecture stuff, and it was impossible for me to hold forth on Serious Issues every damned day. I’m not sure it sunk in.
Now I just need Sarah Palin to keep an eye on the Russians for me.
Architecture is very serious, my dear Hag, as someone in your business must surely know. The arenas in which we contend, or go to escape contention, affect us in all sorts of ways, and since the ones which God himself made for us aren’t always suitable (asking why that is can be very revealing, if you want to know the true value of architecture) we depend more than we realize on the genius of those who provide them.
Plus, I just love a well conceived and executed space. Say what you will, architecture really is the queen of the arts.
I do find it a noble calling; and I love seeing my projects all over the city; there are so many I can’t remember them all. Which is actually funny at times, when I come back a few years later and compliment the clients on their tile, bathroom, whatever, it turns out I did it. “Really?” Sheesh.
One reason I like to talk about architecture is because it is my one area of real expertise, and I’m as drearily familiar with the economic side of it all as I am with the government side, and I pride myself in knowing a lot about building codes. It’s where the hard hat meets the curlers, to paraphrase your delightfully evergreen comment of long ago….
In all fairness, I probably could never do a “stand up” routine.
But, I laugh all the time at what I read here and at UT; it is just that it is the serious stuff that makes me laugh. (or does so often at least)
I love Hag’s writing, even though from time to time I feel like making an edit or two (and having an editor would be better than having a spouse, IMO)…which is the main reason I read here.
I know from having a blob for a long time that the “lurkers” outnumber the participants anywhere from 40:1 to 100:1. I’m sure some of the lurkers come to read the regular commentators because the community here (or in other blogs where there are “regulars” who are intelligent and funny) attract a little following. We are a reality blog show, as I used to say.
I read Glenn for his information, not for his style. He’s far too verbose without his editor (as the prose in his published books is leaner and better than his blog writing), and I used to send him edits and corrections that he would occasionally make (and usually thank me for), but I’ve given up on him. I just plow through. I don’t mind all the words, since I have a long attention span and like to read.
His style is not exactly web-friendly, but eff the lazy dweebs who need one paragraph or less. Philistines, I tell ya.
I think the Latvian and Russian visitors is hilarious. I wish I could speak or write in either. Alas, the best I can do is wink.
I see UT that way, as a reality show that I hate to miss. On days when I know I’ll never get through all the comments, I read them anyway, not wanting to let something special pass me by. I could probably use an editor; sometimes I keep piling dependent clauses onto a sentence until the whole thing tips over like Fred Flintstone’s car, but I hit “publish” anyway…. with a blogger’s desire for immediacy over perfection. I think Glenn does the same thing, and then Bamage shows up to correct the typos.
No Russians have popped in to introduce themselves thus far, but I have hope.
I’m sooo arrogant that, as a wooly-headed lion, I’d claim credit for all of your success, Hag, while glaring, as if from a promontory, at all trolls and ne-er do wells who even hint at disruption here.
Aside from all that meaningless bluster (delivered for WT’s benefit), I’d suggest some brainstorming about how to cultivate the Russians, Latvians, and whomever.
How could this blog become truly international? These analytic stats are very interesting.
There’s an audience research problem to be addressed.
Well, the Eyetalians are already on board, and thanks to you, we all know what trendsetters they are. Perhaps we don’t have a problem after all. The Russians can bring their vodka and smoked sturgeon with them, if they’d feel more comfortable, and we can hand out sunglasses and guides to the best beaches per guardare le ragazze when they get here.
Yeah, but there may not be any evidence that any actual Italians are enamored of my satiric efforts with respect to Silvio.
It’s just that his whole thing, with the overlay of opera and farce, is irresistible.
I’ve actually been delinquent with that story line, and should gird my loins for another posting from Naples and Rome.
Gotta get Harlan on the wireless …
I know a woman where I worked before I retired who is Russian. Her father was in the military and stationed in Lativa where he retired and now lives. She’s not the source of our lurkers because I did not have contact with her for several years after she left our Center until I saw her last week because she came back to work at our Center again. She has the necessary cultural expertise if indeed our lurkers require it because they actually live in Russia or Latvia.
One qualifier. She is rather conservative and might be shocked by what goes on here.
I’ve noticed that about people from the former Soviet Union, many of whom work in the building industry… they are a little too excited about Capitalism. The fervor of the convert turns them into righties all the time, as though a plumber or tilesetter would ever benefit from righty gov’t.
My neighbor, Aaron is going to help me figure out some of this data, as well as assist me in doing a few more tricks with posting, provided I’m trainable, which has yet to be seen.
There were traffic bumps on several of the Silvio pieces, primarily from search engines, where anything involving hookers is always popular. Have Harlan get some pictures of them, preferably topless, and we’d probably raise the global profile a little.
That’s interesting. Just for laughs that is. But, anything to push up the numbers I say.
Well, I am back at work and I am weary. I say this because that might be the reason for the next paragraph. A mitigating factor as the legal boys would say. Of course my favorite saying comes for statistics: “Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive but what they conceal is vital.” Anyway, on to the next paragraph.
I read Glenn’s new post and all the comments and all I could think was how ignorant it all was. I mean all sides. It is just not worth making a comment even to the most factually inaccurate posts. Who cares? Those who know don’t say much, and those that say a lot don’t know much. (I may have stolen that from an ancient Chinese philosopher) Unless my attitude makes a change for the better (or worse?), I must bid all goodbye for a while.
Really? Ignorance at UT? My experience is that most commenters over there know quite a bit; they just apply it differently. Anyway, I just finished a new post so I can go over and have a look-see. I hope you’re only bidding goodbye to UT and not the Hag; there are only so many Latvians out there to replace you….
I’ll be lurking about and will post a stupid comment once in a while. It is just that I have come to realize that the left has a long laundry list of ideas believed in due to religious fundamentalism just as the right-wing does. Different list, same crap.
I’ll give you a tiny example. Yesterday the “Israel thread” degenerated, at one point, into a debate on the Christan Bible. Some claimed to have studied the early origins of the Xians and still never mentioned the Gnostics who authored the teaching myth. It was just a “debate” filled with the sort of thing I hear middle school kids say. To beat all, if I remember right, one fellow when so far as to hint one could believe in the big daddy in the sky, or in the awesome power of random chance but there was nothing else to believe in! Blah.
I’m much more lurker than participant these days at UT, because the Hag takes up too much time, but I would have to disagree in your lumping the “left” all together like that, in the same way I wouldn’t dump all the “right” together, either. The reasons you and I can have productive discussions is because neither of us belong to the religious wings of our groups, to use the term your way.
The left is intrinsically disorganized and therefore less likely to be tyrannical than the right, but as Ron Paul shows, the Right isn’t monolithic, either.
I would also have to add that anything that might be called the “far left” hasn’t had any power or voice since the 70′s; the assault on freedom and equality was an entirely Republican project, although adopted by too many Democrats, and was quite successful.
OK, you caught me. Lurking that is.
Boris Badinov
Are you sure that isn’t Boris Bedinoff? CHNN’s investigative team finds you even further from Russia than Sarah Palin in the old days, but that’s ok. If you have a land scope that powerful, I’ll come visit.
When I’d read you over at Glenn’s blog, I’d imagine your aging manicured hands – typing on the keyboard, reaching for a drink, a formidable weapon bristling with cocktail rings and engendering respect because everyone knows the Cocktailhag doesn’t suffer fools. I’d picture you out there with your hard hat perched on your salon-perfect hair (red, am I right?) and everyone taking a step back out of sheer respect. While I still love your writing, it was a little like finding out Santa Claus didn’t exist to learn who is behind it.
I’m still a cocktailhag in spirit…. I just find that it’s a funny and appropriate “voice” for my writing. (with the added benefit of coaxing hilariously misdirected misogyny out or righty trolls…)
I just had an IT dig up some old published pieces from ten years ago, from Willamette Week, from my deceased old computer, and I’m going to run one today. It’s extraordinarily haggish.
I’ll also try to dig up some pictures from a Cocktailhag Halloween costume I wore back then… Pedinska now has one of the rings, which she wears when she’s feeling low.
Time to learn your lesson about life and how it works. You say you were unfairly banned, they say you weren’t. You have no recourse. Deal with it! LIke a grown up!