send in the bugs

Just around the time I’d gotten used to penis-slicing as an unpleasant but necessary “method” to scare away the monsters under our beds, I found out that the endless creativity of our intelligence agencies had produced something even more diabolical, but subtler and assuredly less messy.  You have to hand it to them, in a way.  Usually one would have to turn to a disturbed child to come up with the idea of torturing people by putting them in boxes with bugs.  Now, we have lawyers for that.  While I myself have never had any particular fear of bugs, coming from a place where few of them are especially large, numerous, or otherwise horrifying, and when  called upon to heroically slay some wily, death-dealing arachnid for my terrorized older sister, I performed my task bravely and with pride.  It’s a bug, after all, and  there’s a size advantage quite readily apparent to a six-year old. What the hell.

I did, however, dread small enclosures, and a trip into the deeper attics or crawl spaces inspired a certain discomfort, although fortunately such ventures were seldom required of me early in life, and unlike bugs, one can pretty much shun such activities, and the problem is solved.  Clearly, if a bunch of sociopathic people had been able to “interrogate” me, they would have found this out, and been off to the races with it.  Our tax dollars at work.

Unfortunately, the last 18 years in the building industry have sent me into every sort of crevice, nook and cranny, in stifling or freezing temperatures, and yes, to my considerable chagrin, sometimes unpleasant critters are involved.  A building with cockroaches is just annoying to its inhabitants; to a person ripping out walls there, it’s something else entirely.  The image of a moving carpet of terrified and scurrying bugs is something I’ve never erased from my mind, despite the drinking.  It took about five years before I stopped leaping backward when ripping out an old wall, but I had that option, since I hadn’t been made all comfy and cozy by our protectors.  Would that somebody “protecting America” got their manicured paws on that story, they’d have figured out a way to get me to admit to teabagging John McCain.

I guess what I’m reacting to is the kind of juvenile sadism, borne of fascination with bugs, fears, and campfire stories, that would worry any parent when they escalated to larger targets, like frogs for George Bush, cats for Bill Frist, wolves for Sarah Palin, and terrorists for the teabaggers, were actually made policy by the United States Government.  Think about that.  Every one of these people probably belonged in reform school, and they never made it there.  They made the big leagues, in their own special way.

Now, Justice Department “lawyers” are discussing which kind of bug would be best …  and how small should the enclosure be?  What should be told (a lie, of course, these people only do lies) to the “detainee” about the bug(s?) to make it more scary?  A suspicious redaction right at this part makes me wonder, not unaccountably.  Just when I thought it was embarrassing to have devoted the best minds of a generation to fraudulent finance, this comes along, and I’m almost thankful.  Look what the legal profession was coughing up.

The vileness of the memos give me Hope, of the trademarked sort, that this is the underwater sixteen level chess played in Quikrete we’ve all been waiting for.  Obama has his flaws, but he’s not illiterate.  Call me a cock-eyed optimist, but when Americans find that we used BUGS to torture people, some serious Hell is going to break loose.

Or, more likely, Tom DeLay will be all over the TV promoting DDT.  I’m not sure which.

23 Comments

  1. karrsic says:

    Bugs belong on terrorists, not in Michelle’s garden! BTW, you’re a cock-eyed optimist.

    I actually can’t believe anyone who reads even just the portion of the memos GG shared, could feel the actual torturers should not be held accountable, let alone their bosses.

  2. cocktailhag says:

    I share that sentiment, from which rises (maybe it’s gas) my cockeyed optimism. I mean, come on, torture by bugs? This will not go over well. I Hope.

  3. Karen M says:

    The heart of this piece…

    I guess what I’m reacting to is the kind of juvenile sadism, borne of fascination with bugs, fears, and campfire stories, that would worry any parent when they escalated to larger targets, like frogs for George Bush, cats for Bill Frist, wolves for Sarah Palin, and terrorists for the teabaggers, were actually made policy by the United States Government. Think about that. Every one of these people probably belonged in reform school, and they never made it there. They made the big leagues, in their own special way.

    …and of course that last line about Tom “The Bugman” Delay.

    This post should also be tagged “classic.”

  4. cocktailhag says:

    The hardest thing about a post like this is making it funny. It’s not. Bringing in Tom DeLay was my underwater Quikrete chess. Bugs! I am utterly aghast.

  5. karrsic says:

    If prosecution doesn’t happen, we need to take it to the MAT: a Million Against Torture march on D.C.

    O/T, small pleasures: telling an AT&T wireless survey taker the reason I left AT&T was because of their illegal wiretapping on US citizens.

    • cocktailhag says:

      Good for you. Right after Nacchio’s stunning revelations about pre 911 phone-tapping, I re-warmed up to Qwest and bundled all of my internet/phone services with them. As you can well imagine, I told the poor, wiretapped employee the reasons at length. I saved a little money, while blowing cocktailhag smoke in ATT et al’s faces. Small, pathetic victories, but not for nothing.

  6. OSR says:

    You people really need to lighten up. I know people, here in Baltimore, that will pay damn good money for that sort of thing.

    Seriously, the passage about the stinging insect is right out of 1984.

    • cocktailhag says:

      I wonder if the creeps that thought this up got that connection. I doubt it. “24″ seems to be the only fiction rattling around their twisted brains.

  7. JoeMommaSan says:

    when Americans find that we used BUGS to torture people, some serious Hell is going to break loose

    Care to put some money on that? I got laid off at the end of February and could really some extra cash right about now. This would be a much safer bet than playing Powerball, or even putting my money in the bank.

    If you want to see how this is playing with the average Joe, take a look at almost any of the newspaper web sites that allow comments this morning. It’s running about 50-50 in support of no prosecutions or even continuing to use these tactics.

    The America you’re thinking about – the one that would have been totally outraged at the idea that Americans were using torture – hasn’t existed for some time now.

    Oh, and I can already tell you what the response will be to your “we used BUGS to torture people” line – that tactic was never actually used. (at least if you believe the torturers) It was only APPROVED for use. Big difference, right?

    • cocktailhag says:

      Well, you noticed that I left open the option that nobody would care; I just thought that the visceral reaction people have might strike a chord. I know Americans, through “24″ and such, have grown fond of torture, but I don’t think they’re the majority. (and, maybe I’m still waxing triumphant at the lameness of the teabaggers…)

    • NW Woods says:

      *Oh, and I can already tell you what the response will be to your “we used BUGS to torture people” line – that tactic was never actually used. (at least if you believe the torturers) It was only APPROVED for use.*

      The evidence might suggest otherwise.

      “Bush memos parallel claim 9/11 mastermind’s children were tortured with insects”

      http://rawstory.com/08/blog/2009/04/17/bush-torture-memos-align-with-account-that-911-suspects-children-were-tortured/

      • cocktailhag says:

        I heard about that today on Thom Hartmann; a nice twist that surprised me not was that they used ants. Swarms of bugs have their own special qualities, I’ve found, compared to just one (caterpillar, indeed). GMTA.

  8. Jim White says:

    Bugs were fun for me in the old days. I used to grow ladybugs and these little guys called big-eyed bugs:
    http://www.insectimages.org/images/768×512/5367926.jpg
    They were vicious predators, but really cute to grow and handle.

    Putting bugs into a box with someone is just sick. There was an old really bad TV reality show that did crap like that, but at least on the show the people knew they could end it at any time and that they weren’t in any real danger.

    • cocktailhag says:

      That was one particular horror of it for me; the rather vivid imagination that came up with the idea. Too dumb to think of Winston in “1984″ with the rat, or the bedbug torture in “The Gulag Archipelago,” they treated their depraved idea as something novel. I keep thinking of Mel Brook’s’ musical number, “The Inquisition.”
      Look out, sin!

  9. William Timberman says:

    If Dick Cheney’s name had been Tojo, or von Ribbentrop, we’d already have a YouTube video of him with a bag over his head and a rope around his neck. The legal profession has it niceties to consider, and rightly so, but I find a literally unbearable irony in the fact that the same legal scholasticism which once strove so mightily to convince us that Nürnberg had nothing whatever to do victor’s justice is now busily polishing the good-faith theory of exculpation for American functionaries who performed, or ordered, exactly the same atrocities as those we once hanged.

    Laughing is good for us, and God knows I could use a laugh, and God bless the Hag’s bold attempt to restore a little sanity to our meditations on this subject, but somehow I just can’t find anything in my heart but a desire to drive these people out of the human community forever.

    • cocktailhag says:

      Ah. yes, and what about the “medical professionals” lending a helping hand as well? The whole story is just so jaw-dropping.

      • William TImberman says:

        Yes, Dr. Mengele springs to mind, or those assholes at the CIA who spent the late fifties dropping acid in their subjects’ drinks and taking notes as the unsuspecting buggers jumped out of 25th floor windows.

        • cocktailhag says:

          It’s really sad. I remember talking to my mother about it after Abu Ghraib. “I always thought that’s what the other guys did,” she said disgustedly.

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